Thank you Chris, Nate and Nathaniel for rating my longlines.

Thank you for rating my project Jose Peres.

Thank you for rating my loglines Jessica, Gwynita, and llir.

Thank you for rating my longlines Christopher Brandt.

Thank you for rating my project Manuele Bonafede.

The logline has an aspirational storyline but I suggest re-writing the logline to be in present tense.

Thank you for rating my project. Present tense even though it took place in 1992?

Thank you for rating my project!

Is that a logline, or isn't your logline part of a synopsis?

It could fall into both categories. As loglines , they can be combined by commas or semi colons or reworded. As synopsis, I could separate each sentence and expand up on it like it is in the synopsis. It is in 3 Act format.

Thank you for rating my loglines Wendy Appelbaum.

I do think the logline needs to whittled down into one sentence. The character is interesting though! What happens when she gets her trip abroad? Does she run into danger? I think answering that in the logline would make the concept stronger.

Thank you Maria Restivo Glassner for your feedback and recommendations. I knew it needed some adjustments. I appreciate it.

Thank you for rating my loglines.

Update

Trailer being reviewed in a focus group.

Tasha: Your logline is more of a brief synopsis. I'm posting the lesson I put together for loglines. You should shoot for writing one high-concept sentence:

For many writers, loglines are a serious challenge. Think of your logline the same way you would if you were trying to craft a hit song. You have limited time to grab someone's attention.

To get a producer/actor/agent to read your script, crafting a good logline is the first step. If your logline is bland, why would anybody want to read your synopsis, let alone your screenplay?

When you write your logline, a good rule of thumb includes protagonist, antagonist, obstacles, and challenges. Then summarize your story in a sentence or two.

Examine this logline from the classic film The Sweet Smell of Success

A press agent, hungry to get ahead, is pushed by a ruthless columnist to do cruel, evil things and is eventually caught in the web of lies that he has created.

1) The logline is 32 words and is stated in a high-concept sentence.

2) It identifies the press agent, a damaged protagonist controlled by the antagonist, a ruthless columnist.

3) The logline informs the reader of the consequences of the protagonist's actions.

Additional suggestions:

1. Naming the character - Do not name your main character or any other characters in your logline. Names don't reveal anything about your characters. You only have a few words to tell the reader about your character, so don't waste time on names.

2. Only getting across the setup - At the very least, a logline should cover up to the midpoint. You're in trouble if your logline only gets across the first ten to fifteen pages of your script.

3. Not giving your character a mission - If you've only included the setup of your story in your logline, then you haven't told us what action your main character takes.

4. Being too vague - Often, writers create detailed character descriptions and setups, then close out the logline with an incredibly vague overview of the plot.

5. Typos and grammatical mistakes - There's no excuse for typos. Make the structure of your logline as easy to read as possible.

6. Loglines that are more than one sentence long - A logline should be one sentence. It isn't a high concept if your logline doesn't fit in one sentence.

Thank you for the rating. Based on the feedback and ratings, see my modifications.

Thank you for rating my loglines Arthur Charpentier.

Thank you for rating my loglines Onwukwe Abraham Ogonna .

Hi, Tasha, your story seems interesting, but I believe you posted a brief summary instead of a logline. Remember your Logline should be one sentence, maybe two, interesting enough to let us know the concept, and hook us, but no more.

Thank you for your feedback Yamile Vaena. It’s one sentence with the last line connected by a semi colon. English guidelines would classify it in the range of one sentence. Sorry for the details. I put my professor hat on every now and then.

Thank you for rating my loglines Ryan Johnston.

Thank you for your rating Mirella Mufarotto.

Thank you for your rating and suggestions Michael W. Orick .

The logline reads like a synopsis. You can consider adding it to the info in the synopsis and write a new logline.

Thank you for your recommendations and rating!

Thank you both for rating my project!

Thank you for rating my loglines!

Thank you for rating my loglines.

Suggestion to define the issues:

Driven to impress her academic/business mentors, an undergrad's hopes to study aboard during her last semester may be thwarted by ____?______ .

Thank you for your rating and input. I appreciate it and duly noted.

Thank you for rating my project!