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By Cannon Rosenau

GENRE: Comedy

After an ex-con’s blind date disappears, he inadvertently forces a band of elderly superheroes out of retirement.  


Lazarus “Laz” Murphy, 30ish, has been out of prison for almost a year now and managed to turn his life around. He has a steady job as a bicycle mechanic, a small apartment on the good side of town and has stayed away from all the bad influences on the other side of town, including his mom, Maxine (50s).

Laz’s boss sets him up on a blind date with a sweet girl next door type, Helen Murphy (20s). Laz is immediately smitten. It’s like he’s known her a lifetime or two and given his superhero bloodline, this is the case. Regardless, she’s the last piece to Laz’s perfect new life.

When Helen disappears, it’s only natural that the authorities blame Laz, the ex-con. Because of his bond with Helen, pieces of their1990’s courtship become more clear and make their connection even stronger. The fact that Laz has changed inside is what awakens the band of three retired superheroes, Harry, Shirley and Bo. These heroes, nowadays just thought of as an old wive’s tale, haven’t been seen or heard from since the late 1960’s when they all lost their powers due to one of the members going rogue. That member was Maxine.

Harry and Shirley, married since the Great War, although they only appear to be around 90, are in their nursing home kissing the lips of death. They wake up to find themselves spry and feel like they are Benjamin-Buttoning. Across the country, Bo also wakes up to find this strange phenomenon with a hint of his old powers, a shadow ability which at his age nearly gives him a heart attack if it weren’t for the youth being restored. The three know that it’s time to get together again. Reuniting sparks some reminiscing about their origin stories. Beyond celebrating their reunion, they’re overjoyed by the use of their formerly arthritic knees again!

With the help from a surprising source, his mother, Laz has managed to elude the authorities and thinks he is hot on the trail of Helen’s kidnapper, despite the mysterious darkness that’s come over the city. Reconciling with Maxine makes Laz feel good, but not in the warm fuzzy unicorn sort of way, in the “it feels so good to be crazy bad” sort of way.

After celebrating, it’s down to business for Harry, Shirley and Bo. They track down Maxine and go along with Maxine’s pretense that she’s reformed back to hero status. When she reveals that Laz is Bo’s son, Laz is forced to choose between his mother who raised him and the dad he just met. Helen appears, unharmed and almost fully overtaken by evil. But when she recognizes Shirley and Bo from her online family tree, she starts to unwind and get back to her adorable girl next door self. Consequently, this site encourages Laz to choose Bo and let Maxine go, sending her to her mortal death.

The heroes get back to civilian life and begin aging again, starting from their new ages of 40. Laz and Helen’s memory lapses have lifted previously put in place by Maxine’s wicked ways. Now that she’s gone, they both gloriously remember their prior courtship in the 90’s, well before Laz’s stint in jail. They’re love story can finally move forward, beginning with a beautiful wedding. And if the reception gets lame? Harry, Shirley and Bo will be the party heroes.

Elischa Spies

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