THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A WOMAN?
By Michael Nguyen
Three actresses encounter Daniel Richards, a casting director and producer, unaware of his past history of sexual misconduct, as they learn how to take action against him.
SYNOPSIS:
Allison Garfunkel, Diane Acosta, and Bridget Mayweather are three actresses living in 2018 Los Angeles, California.
Allison is a struggling actress whose popularity declined after being a child star; Diane is a well-known actress and model with a confusing way of doing schedules; Bridget is a university student majoring in Psychology, who takes part in her institution’s theatre department and works two jobs to make a living.
Their lives are changed forever when they encounter Daniel Richards, who claims to be a casting director and producer at Looming Film Partners involved in several media projects. Little do they know, Daniel has a long history of sexual misconduct, harassment and even assault, deeds that stain a lingering impact on the many women he selects. Why more people don’t know about it or nothing is being done about it remains a mystery, even to these three female protagonists.
This feature demonstrates how they find out about Daniel Richards’ inappropriate sexual behavior, and the actions they take against him, so much so for every other woman he has endangered or victimized. By hearing their stories, you will soon understand how it feels to be a woman.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A WOMAN?
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Here's a potential way to rework this, bearing in mind the same formula from before: When [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE],or else [STAKES].
When three aspiring actresses meet a supposed casting director/producer, unaware of his history with sexual misconduct (-or- unaware of his predatory history) (-or- unaware of his penchant for sexual assault)... ... ...
-they must [OBJECTIVE]
-or else [STAKES].
The more concisely and clearly (and alluringly) we can state what's happening in our story, the more potent our loglines are going to be :)
Hi, Angela! Let's see how I can work my way around this...
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The log line is too long and it is best to not list character names in the log line. Try this instead. In the year 2018, three aspiring actresses fall for the same man believing he is a producer before discovering his past and his sexual desires. Log lines should be a sentence or two.
I agree with, Tim Bragg. Also, Michael Nguyen, I don't see the story goal in the logline. I read the synopsis and saw this: "and the actions that they take against him." Maybe that's the story goal.
Hi Maurice Vaughan,
Why is it that it's always so hard for me to create a meaningful logline in under a few words?! It's little wonder how any producer interested in looking at my work would take note of something like this! Nonetheless, the more feedback I receive, the more I can reach a consensus as to how to fix my logline from here; At least that's how I feel about it, so thank you for your contributions! It's also worth noting that this logline was last written at least two years ago, I think.