An odd pair of soulmate cousins wade through life’s horrors with laughter and booze until a dark corner turns worse when he suffers a stroke. Will she put him out of his misery as agreed, or watch him waste away in post stroke hell? 

SYNOPSIS:

SHORT SYNOPSIS: The story takes place from 2004-2007, in the US southwest oasis Pueblo, Colorado where cousin soulmates drink and laugh their sorrows away. She, Piney, substitute teacher- 28, he, Wiener, boot salesman, shitty golfer- 48. Wiener is famously nicknamed for a back in the day bar trick of tying his dick in a knot. Her father owns an infamous tavern where they overindulge booze, greasy burgers and green chili sloppers por gratis, often. Both are scarred by life’s horrors and find solace in each other’s dark humor. Their debauchery takes many crooked turns, but from one there is no undoing. When Wiener has a stroke, Piney is summoned with a choice to kill him and heal them both, or watch him waste away in post stroke hell.

LONG SYNOPSIS:

Young beautiful Piney is rock’n’roll, 28, a substitute teacher, waitress, bartender, freshly destroyed by love and an avid drinker at her dad’s famous dive bar where she and her favorite person/cousin Wiener drink for free, often. Wiener, 48, huge Denver Bronco fan, cowboy boot expert and salesman, alcoholic, shitty golfer and stupid titty joke teller is Piney’s emotional support blanket now as she wades through her heartache and pain. He’s had his share of getting kicked in the balls by life too. His third wife walked into his home and blew her brains out… all over him. They both have been touched by deep sorrow and trauma. So they cuss often and laugh hardest.

The story hopscotches between each delicious character in their homes, at work, Piney with her dogs and in her violent self destructing dreams/ behaviors and Wiener on the golf course with his gang of degenerates and at home with his lunatic woman. And mostly, with the pair at the bar… Piney has dreams of killing her X-boyfriend Peruvian pirate every day. Blood, cigarettes and swords are a strong theme. Wiener relives his X-wife’s suicide when her son visits the Western wear store.

The hub of the tale occurs at Jasper Tavern, Piney has grown up here, Wiener has a permanent bar stool. The place is like Cheers. There is rich culture and famous Sloppers to eat at Jasper’s. Piney and her father Jasper share an endearing relationship marred by his stupid wife. The bar is her 2nd home.

A regular Friday night of dancing and rum leads to a joint smoking session and an old friend telling the Wiener story. How he tied his dick in a knot for $100 back in the day and the Wiener was born. Piney is searching for “the one” and achingly wants to love and be loved but is ignored and rejected per usual. Wiener keeps her company that night by helping her rearrange her room furniture, at her desperate request. It turns into a jumping on the bed, dancing, laughing big titty pile drive best friend kind of night.

The next week’s indulgence at Carlo’s leads to an unimaginable bar scene of the patrons taking over the beer taps and liquor bottles, because Piney’s notorious friend has the two bartenders in the back for her own sultry purposes. Wiener hooks up with Pueblo’s infamous transvestite who has the nicest tits in town. They barely make it out alive because of a brawl and Piney is ruined by not being wanted, again. She has a supernatural experience that night of her mirror reflection coming to evil life and inflicting real damage.

After a suicidal emotional plea and recuperation, Piney takes her grandpa’s 1946 cherry-ass red Lincoln convertible out with Wiener for a final night of debauchery. There is a storm brewing and shooting AK’s, flashing a hoard of gambling Mexicans, and dancing/drinking at G’s bar where horses are welcome are just the beginning. They end up at Wiener’s trailer, power out, lightning storm and yes, they fuck like filthy professional animals. Piney attempts suicide the the next day, fails, and can’t deal with Wiener, ever again.

A year later Piney has a child with an abuser, surprise. Not long after Wiener has a stroke. Piney and Wiener had made a pact to put each other out of their misery if one was incapacitated… Kavorkian style, pull the plug. Piney is asked to do the unthinkable. And she does. His death is a deepest pain she never knew possible, yet she knows setting him free undid the harm they caused each other. Forgiveness and reckoning lurk in poisonous places.

CUZ, CUZ. A MOSTLY TRUE STORY.