THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

RUNNING FOR BREATH

RUNNING FOR BREATH
By Steven Blows

GENRE: Animation
LOGLINE:

When a man’s breath escapes him, he must chase it through the manic streets of London to get it back before his time runs out.

SYNOPSIS:

Growing noise. A video game, a toddler throwing a tantrum, a sneeze, the unique humming sound of a decades-old air ventilation system mixing with the clanking of the London Underground system. Blake (male, 30's) is dressed in a dull grey suit and surrounded by commuters. The streets of the city are no quieter and Blake is almost hit by a passing bicycle. He walks into his workplace, a large office building with a spacious yet undeniably mundane layout.

At his desk, he works as a clerk. Piles of files are mindlessly dropped onto his desk and in front of him. As the stack grows over his head Blake becomes more anxious, panicked, and worried. His behavior is erratic, breathing out of control, and heart-pounding as the PINGING noise of dozens of emails being received into his inbox ring as sharp reminders of stress. Tension mounts until -- SLAM! The final file is put onto the heap, and with it, Blake shudders. A large exhale is shoved out of him. His breath escapes him. Literally.

A CLOUD of air grows as it leaves Blake's body and with the final drop of oxygen from his lungs, the cloud is complete. It stands there floating above the desk. Blake watches the cloud with curiosity. Then realisation when a colleague opens a nearby window which sucks the cloud out into the city. A game of chase unfolds as Blake runs to catch his breath before his time runs out.

Blake rushes out of the building and spots the cloud turning a corner. He must navigate angry pedestrians, dodge speeding lorries, and climb an old fire escape to the top of a five-story building when the cloud hovers threateningly close to the building's edge. Blake's face grows red, his cheeks puff, and his feet tap. He is at the end of the line. The cloud takes a fall over the edge and Blake follows after it. As he catches the cloud moments before reaching the hard concrete surface below, he appears back in his safe office cubicle chair. His breath is sharp and long (mid panic attack) before they slow and his face flattens as he finds balance. He returns to the files and opens one, ready to begin work.

Tasha Lewis

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

This a creative concept. What are the stakes?

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this logline

Steven Blows

Maurice Vaughan I have since uploaded a short synopsis and extended the logline. Feel free to give it a read :) Also, the script is 4 pages long so there isn't too much beyond the concept and situation.

Maurice Vaughan

I like the new logline, Steven Blows. I think the synopsis can be shortened. It reads like a short story rather than a synopsis.

Maurice Vaughan

Rated this logline

Steven Blows

Maurice Vaughan thank you greatly for the rating and feedback. I will give the synopsis some tweaks. :)

Nate Rymer

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In