THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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NEWLYWEDS NO MORE (FEATURE)
By L Fabry

GENRE: Comedy, Romance
LOGLINE: A bickering husband and wife literally see their dysfunctional marriage and hectic lives from a new angle when they are forced to switch bodies.

SYNOPSIS:

On the eve of their first anniversary, NATE and ERICA (37 – 42) bicker constantly and are unable to conceive a child. She works as a nurse where chauvinism is responsible for her getting passed over for a promotion. He works crunching numbers for an unbearable female boss, MAUREEN (45). After arriving late for an adoption appointment, the couple has their worst fight ever, catching the eye of a nearby HIPPIE/GYPSY (50) who promises change. The next morning, Nate and Erica awake to find themselves in the other’s body. While Nate is briefly delighted at having breasts, Erica turns into a banshee at the sight of her/his new genitalia. With no other option, the two must walk in the other’s shoes. While Nate gets a firsthand view of what being a woman is like, condescension and all, Erica finds that life as a man isn’t as easy as it sounds, and the urinals aren’t even the worst of it. Desperate to put things right, Nate and Erica rush to the hippie/gypsy and find that the only way to switch back is to love each other enough. Nate and Erica interpret this as making love will switch them back, a task that proves exceedingly difficult for both of them, with “her” unable to stomach being on the receiving end of a loving and “him” having no clue as to how to man up to the task. After spectacular failure at maritals, each spouse tries to excel in their new life, but no matter how hard Nate works, ZACH (25) is the star and not coincidentally the only male nurse. Erica’s new boss is not the misunderstood soul that was first thought. To make matters worse, Nate has to do prostate exams while Erica is forced to give a presentation and attend a corporate function for a job she knows nothing about. Yet they figure it out, with Erica using a Bluetooth headset to be fed the lines for her presentation. Nate challenges Zach and the doctor they work for to a game of golf, with the winner getting to choose who gets the promotion. Erica sits down with Maureen for a sincere talk about their feelings. Maureen interprets this as a come on and fires Erica when she is unwilling to so much as touch her. Upon hearing about Nate's crucial golf game, Erica keeps the firing a secret and takes Nate to buy new clubs. The trip goes so well, the couple is actually able to mechanically make love with Erica having no trouble finding “the spot.” But they don’t switch back. After Nate has a mysterious bout of cramps that Erica laughingly dismisses, they are bickering again until the doorbell interrupts. Nate forgot to tell Erica that the adoption home visit was today and has seriously neglected the housekeeping duties that were newly his. The interview goes even worse when the couple begins mimicking the worst in each other, and Nate finally reveals his insecurities concerning his inability to give Erica a child due to a low sperm count. Erica reveals to Nate that he no longer has a job. The adoption agent passes on their application. It’s the last straw, and the couple separates. But being in each other’s bodies means they have to go to each other’s friends. Erica learns how much Nate wanted to adopt a child. Nate learns that Erica never blamed him for being unable to conceive. But before Nate goes to Erica, the golf game comes up. Using both his years of golf skills and newfound feminine wiles, Nate wins the game but finds little comfort in it. When they do finally find each other, all is finally admitted and a real moment of love comes in the form of a kiss. Unlike the attempts at love making, the kiss is real with both realizing that who they are kissing is most important. And they switch back. While cleaning out his desk, Nate runs into a board member Erica wooed and is offered a job. Erica makes sure Maureen is watching as she smacks her husband’s ass. At their first anniversary party, Nate's present for Erica is Zach's hated earring that was also won in the golf game. Erica's present for Nate is several positive pregnancy tests. Turns out all they needed to conceive was to have her do the man's part. The hippie/gypsy predicts multiple births.

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