That would make a great T.V. show

Wayne Cothron Thanks Wayne. Trying like hell to make it happen.

Hi, Kevin Johnson. The concept sounds exciting. The logline is solid, but I think it can be smoother. How about: "After a retired football player with a bad attitude suddenly goes broke, he tries to get back into the NFL by taking in two foster children to gain a good guy image."

Maurice Vaughan My friend!! Good job. I'm going to use that if you don't mind sir...LOL

You're welcome to use it, Kevin Johnson.

Maurice Vaughan Log line credit will go to you sir...Thanks again!

No credit needed, Kevin Johnson. You made the logline. I just reworded it some. Thanks though. Also, the logline needs a period.

Ray Petrolino Thank you Ray!

Jessica B Thank you!!

Jim Boston Thank you sir

Grzegorz Bielski Thank you!

This is really up my alley for comedy

Xaviera Iglesias Good! It will be done soon.

Although I kind of like the storyline itself, the logline doesn't make sense in some cases. What is the significance of stating goes broke? Foster Children have to have a stable home as a key requirement. In most states, the requirements to foster children are:

1. Undergo a criminal background check, including being fingerprinted.

2. Complete an application packet.

3. Participate in interviews with agency staff.

4. Complete medical exams for all family members.

5. Complete pre-service training.

6. Attend ongoing training programs provided by our agency.

7. Be FINANCIALLY stable and be able to maintain FINANCIAL responsibilities in your home.

If anything I would feel more comfortable with: He was cut or released from his contract due to "Bad Attitude" or "Difficult To Work With." This would allow him to realistically be able to qualify for the task of Foster Parent, with obviously some uncertainties due to behavior. Also if he "Retired", why is he needing the NFL's approval? Just become a Foster Parent...Just my 2 cents #Respect - Johnnie Jay

Thanks Johnnie Jay for the feedback.

You're welcome, Sir! Also, PLEASE understand my comment was only out of love, not disrespect.

Nooooo. I needed to hear that!! My goal is to put great material on TV. for years to come. If I cant take constructive criticism I will never make it in this business. All you did was inspire me to do better. I appreciate you!! God Bless my friend! and Thank you! Now rate my other loglines!! LOL

Cool! Glad to hear it! No! I will not rate your other loglines...Okay, you twisted my arm. I will rate your other loglines, lol. Blessings to you! Keep in touch!

I can see this working, especially as a comedy.