Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

One of the most understated things about writing is how hard it can be on your Mental Health. Go ahead, Google “Writing and Mental Health.”

I’ll wait.

Back already?

If you saw the same thing I saw, you’ll see that the entire first page is about journaling and its benefits to mental health. This is true. There’s a reason why therapists suggest people keep journals.

The fact is, non-writers do not understand the relationship between a writer and their writing. They don’t understand that we leave a piece of ourselves in everything we do. That all creators do.

At times, the craft allows us to ride massive highs. I’ve had a few: book releases, the first time I saw a script I wrote on the screen, when I heard my Doctor Who audio for the first time.

Where there are mountaintops, there are also valleys. Oftentimes, those are hidden or silenced. Why would we talk about our struggles when our Instagrams are full of people succeeding? So, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to share some of my story with you in hopes that it helps if you're going through something similar.

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

I suffer from anxiety and depression. At the moment, my doctor and I are still sorting out the meds needed to help me the most. I also go to therapy once a week.

Now, let me clarify. My writing did not cause my mental health symptoms. But, like every other aspect of my life, it was dramatically affected by them.

It took me a couple of years to put those pieces together. Looking back, I should have realized that my mental health was affecting something I loved.

But I didn’t.

Because the stigma is there. In every industry, in every facet of life, the stigma is there. And the only thing we can do about it is to share our stories which is why I’m here today.

In the last three years, I’ve lost a job, moved back home, developed a chronic illness, and, of course, we can’t forget the worldwide issues that we’ve all had to deal with. I’m not saying this to complain, I’m working on making my peace with that (hence the therapy). For some time, I wasn’t in a place where I could write much of anything. I was struggling to find my love of writing.

Sometimes, my therapist gets a unique perspective on my writing process. We’ve talked about it a few times and have had a few chats about Imposter Syndrome.

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

With both writing and mental health, there’s a fair bit of imposter syndrome. When it comes to your health, people remind you that it could be worse. You could be in worse shape. Things could be worse.

No one wants to hear that. Especially when they’re in the midst of their own battle.

Imposter Syndrome can be detrimental to a writer if they let it. It can cripple a writer, and cause them to freeze. Leave their pages empty and projects unfinished. Why bother when others have done so much better?

Because yours is a voice that needs to be heard. We compare ourselves with others all too often. Let me give you an example.

I’ve been working on the same book for five years now; not for lack of effort, but over many drafts, the book just didn't gel. In the same time, I’ve published a handful of short stories, my Doctor Who audio, and a tabletop RPG adventure for Paradoxes & Possibilities. I'm creating a web series, and I'm most of the way through pre-production. In February of this year, I restarted my writing advice column If Walls Could Talk after stepping away for almost two years, and have been consistent since. I've returned to writing for Stage 32. I'm finishing another novel that my editor tells me is good and coming together properly. I co-curated and edited another anthology which is almost done. A private work I host online found a readership I never anticipated.

None of that felt like enough. None of it feels like enough, or good enough. Because this book I’ve been saying is coming for years sits on my computer unfinished. I feel like an imposter.

Last Fall, I watched Hulu’s Only Murders in the Building and instantly fell in love. But I also felt like a fraud. This mystery book I’d been working on for literal years now felt like a child had written it.

My editor and I fought because I said I wanted to toss the whole thing and scrap the project. We arrived at a compromise. I’ve scrapped my previous drafts and I’m starting over and recreating the mystery using lessons I learned from the show as well as lessons I’ve learned as a writer in the last five years.

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

Imposter Syndrome is a real thing. Psychologists have studied it though it’s yet to officially earn a spot in the DSM-5.

What exactly is it?

Verywellmind.com had a definition I loved. Impostor syndrome (IS) refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism and the social context. To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud—like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck.

And then there’s this from the American Psychological Association:

First described by psychologists Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., and Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., in the 1970s, the impostor phenomenon occurs among high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their success. They often attribute their accomplishments to luck rather than to ability and fear that others will eventually unmask them as frauds.

Does this sound like you?

The problem is, while writing can be good for your mental health, it can fuel vicious cycles. I don’t write one day because I don’t feel up to it. But then I feel guilty so I try to write and it turns bad which makes me mad…

You get the idea.

On the other side of the coin, writing is an escape for me. When I’m sitting at the keyboard crafting this or other articles, sometimes it helps me feel that much closer to the best version of myself. Knowing that I’m writing - and that I’m capable of writing - does more for me than words can express.

But, to start making progress on my journey I had to ask for help. It started in November when I went to ask for anxiety medication. I’d had some panic attacks and it was getting to the point where I could no longer manage them like I once had.

In February, I started therapy. It’s helped. Some weeks, we dig into my past. Others, I talk about what’s happened with my week, and we discuss how to handle potential future steps.

Then in March, I went to a follow-up appointment about my anxiety meds and my doctor suggested that I also go on an anti-depressant as well. We’re still working on that part.

Hopefully, if you needed to know someone else who feels these things, you’ve found a friend here. Reach out and message me here if you need to talk. Find someone you know and trust to tell how you’re feeling. Reach out to counseling or therapy center and if nothing else get on the waitlist.

Caring for Your Mental Health as a Writer

But, at the end of the day, give yourself grace when you have bad days. It’s not the end of the world and beating yourself up won’t help anyone.

Somedays writing just won’t happen. Maybe it’s a bad migraine day for me. Or maybe it’s a day where my depression is getting the better of me. Sometimes I take the time to curl up and read. Other times I play video games. Both are ways to refill your creative tank.

Let me say something you might not have heard before. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to go on medicine because your brain isn’t firing quite the right way. Please don’t let old-fashioned opinions and stigmas stop you from working to reach your best and fullest potential.

And if you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Help is there if you need it. Because this battle isn’t something you can do alone.

That’s perhaps another thing that’s helped me tremendously through this. The support of friends and family. Like many, I’ve run into old-fashioned ideation about Mental Health but others have been extremely honest, open, and supportive.

Get engaged
0

About the Author

Mary Helen Norris

Mary Helen Norris

Author, Editor, Marketing/PR, Screenwriter

M.H. Norris most recently launched her mystery series, All The Petty Myths, which combines forensics and mythology. The first volume featured the premiere story “Midnight,” which won #2 Best Mystery Novel in the 2018 Preditors and Editors Readers’ Poll. Other stories in the collection took home #1 S...

Want to share your Story on the Stage 32 Blog?
Get in touch
0