When I wrote my first screenplay, I was 17, outspoken, and very confident in my writing abilities, so when the teacher told us we were having a stage playwriting contest, I nearly jumped out of my chair with excitement. I spent the whole day writing and planning out my screenplay. The next day, I gave copies to almost everyone in my class to see what they thought. One student said it was terrible and tossed it in the garbage. I even had a close friend tell me to stop sending her stories, and we never spoke again. Eventually, I just quit the class.

Later, after I lost my job and moved back in with my family, I decided to dive back into screenwriting. It was tough; sometimes, the feedback looked like the person reading was having a bad day when they were making notes, and the nicest 'compliment' I received was, "maybe in ten or fifteen years, you could create something decent." Everything in and around me was telling me to give up, and stop trying. Writing isn't for you. You don't have the talent. The notes became more and more hurtful as I did everything I possibly could to improve.

Instead of throwing in the towel and saying goodbye to my dreams, I pushed back and followed these five principles that helped me regain my self-esteem and be more productive.

Not All Notes Are Created Equally, You Don't Have To Apply Them All

Whenever I get feedback that appears harsh or mean-spirited, I ask myself, what are the intentions behind this note? Are they trying to be helpful, or are they rude? If the reader gives you reasons why your writing needs work and ways to improve, it's constructive criticism. If the reader is saying things like "you are an awful writer" or "this is terrible" without a reasonable explanation, you should ignore it and move on. It can be difficult to shake off hurtful things said to you, but it's necessary.

Make sure that you're getting your feedback from trusted people with experience and whose track record you can see.

You Can Ask Questions

Many writers (including myself) don't ask enough questions when we get notes. A lot of us won't ask questions, even if there are parts of our critique we don't understand. If you disagree or desire a longer explanation of something they commented on, especially if you're with a writers' group or doing a verbal consultation, don't be afraid to reach out and ask them to clarify or even put what they said in simpler terms. Trust me. You'll thank yourself later.

3. Remember, Everyone has Different Opinions

When it comes to writing, everyone has opinions on what's good and what isn't. If you enjoy writing romance but send your story to people who enjoy action, then the notes might be biased. A good way to avoid this is to choose people who are regular readers in your genre. This can also be beneficial because they're aware of the tropes, cliches, and genre conventions within your story, giving you more constructive notes.

Sit With The Note

Sometimes I'd nearly burst into tears reading some of the things people would leave as "notes." on my screenplays. I'd even shut down or get defensive. If you find yourself getting emotional when you get notes (like me), take a deep breath, think, and relax before responding to the sender. You don't have to apply the notes right away. Take your time and sit with it before you respond or leap into action.

It's Not Personal

As writers, we pour our hearts and souls into every word we type. Our work is like our children, so whenever someone insults or criticizes it, it's easy to get offended and get upset, especially if you're a beginner. I used to be the same way to the point where it felt like every insult or negative comment was a jab at my character. It took me a long time to separate myself from my work, so it didn't feel like I was getting attacked whenever I got notes.

Screenwriting is hard, and sometimes receiving feedback is even harder. Once you're able to accept and learn from the notes, you'll be a stronger, smarter, and more productive writer.

Let's hear your thoughts in the comments below!

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