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REF #: 0-A
| Order # | 3983918306909237142 |
|---|---|
| Order date | 1/18/26 5:14 PM |
| Customer |
Pamela Wells |
| Item(s) | Pitch Session: Val McLeroy - Saturday, January 24th · Written Submission |
| Total paid | $35.00 via Braintree |
| Script Title: | THE ACTOR DATE | ||||
| Writer's Name: | Pamela Wells | ||||
| Writer's Email: | pwells23@gmail.com | ||||
| Scorecard | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
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| Clarity of Pitch | |||||
| Set Up of Protagonist(s) & World | |||||
| Obstacles & Conflict | |||||
| Clarity of Tone | |||||
| Originality of Concept | |||||
| Strength of Voice | |||||
| Requested Materials? | Pass | ||||
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Pitch Feedback:
Pamela has given us a story with deep themes led by the danger of falling in love with your hero. Heros are never what they seem and they will only disappoint. She also, correctly, focuses on the fact that celebrities expect love and gushing praise from everyone they meet. I did find some of Pamela's verbiage confusing. For example, Paul is in a marriage that no longer thrills him but there's a nobility in that? This is followed with a sentence saying he's getting a divorce but sneaks around. These thoughts simply don't connect. Perhaps the most important theme in this story is the conflict of ambition with your values. Hannah, the protagonist, is a young woman who wants desperately to be an actress but does not want to stray from her deep Christian values. We hope her values will win. |
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