Screenwriting

Thank you all :-) Good to know alot of passes is what gets us closer to perfection. I hope to have my project produced someday.

liLibby Wright Yeah. I feel my script can always go through one last sweep. Than another. Than another. Oh well. Onwards & upwards

Vomit draft. Polish. Get notes. 2nd draft. More notes. 3rd draft. If you're a pro. The project's never done and you will always get notes regardless of if you think you need them or not. But you should submit to stuff when you feel ready and comfortable with what you've written. Then take the feedback you get as a data point.

Alexander, your point about always finding one more sweep makes me wonder if each pass needs a stopping rule: name the problem before rewriting, then check whether that problem is actually fixed. Changing a scene's motivation is different from swapping words around. Are your latest passes still changing the story, or mostly polishing sentences?

A script should typically go through 3 to 5 major structural drafts and an uncounted number of targeted passes before it is ready to be sent out to industry professionals.

That "something feels off" phase is the hardest part of rewriting because you’re fighting your own blind spots.

Oh DANG, Eric! Always out here asking the deep questions! I love how your observation of day-to-day work in AI and Entertainment have brought about such an excellent question to ask when we're developing story. It's such an important element of story and you just made it feel so much easier to address after laying it out like this.

Writing from a real friend's loss usually produces the most honest material, and a Wednesday-project system is a smart way to keep multiple scripts moving.

The premise has a strong engine: grief, a father's unfinished lessons, and baseball as the language between them. The part I'd sharpen is the guilt. It's the real heart of the story, but right now it's the vaguest piece of the logline. If it's something specific, like a last argument or a missed game, every legend's lesson can tie back to it. Without that, the three visits can drift into a lesson-of-the-week structure where the boy just listens instead of making choices.

Is the guilt set up before his dad dies, or does it surface afterward? I'm a professional screenwriter and script editor, and I'd be glad to look at your outline or pages and help make the payoff land.

Hi, Alex Recheal! I appreciate the offer very much! Feedback from a fellow professional screenwriter is always welcome. I want to finish it and do an immediate rewrite on four scenes before I send it to anybody. I will keep your offer in mind.

The guilt the boy feels stems from a request he made to his father before the accident that took his life, and that he's convinced contributed to his dad's passing. The boy teaches each spirit a lesson as they are teaching him life lessons he never shared with his dad. I don't want to give too much more away, LOL.

Hello John. I love this concept! The combination of baseball, grief, and life lessons makes this feel like a heartfelt, inspirational story with so much emotional potential. I especially love how you're honoring your childhood friend through storytelling. There's something powerful about using film to preserve memories and share lessons that can impact generations. Wishing you continued inspiration as you bring this story to life!

John Mezes Finishing the draft and rewriting those four scenes before anyone else sees it is the right call. And knowing what the guilt is helps a lot. A request made right before the accident is a specific, painful wound, and it gives every lesson something real to land on. The two-way teaching also keeps the boy active in every visit, which is where stories like this usually come alive.

If you don't mind, I'd love to help in a bigger way. Once you're ready, I can write the full script for you from your outline and vision. I'd keep the heart, the voice, and the baseball world exactly as you intend, and polish the structure, dialogue, and formatting to industry standard so it's ready to pitch. You'd keep full creative control, and I'd work from your notes.

No rush at all. Finish your rewrite first, and whenever you're ready, just message me. Wishing you a great Wednesday session.

This is such a powerful concept, John! What's been the toughest nut to crack so far, and how are you working through it?

It will Marziyeh Mohammad Salehi. It may take some time, but it will.

As I said on a recent post where someone asked what people wished they knew when they started as a playwright: "Understand that theater is first and foremost a business, and succeeding in it at any kind of higher level will require many things that have nothing to do with how good your play is but that are far more important than how good your play is."

This is even MORE true of screenwriting. They say for actors, it's 7% talent and the rest is who you know. I'd say the same is true of screenwriting.

I also believe timing is a very important component of any sort of success that involves someone other than yourself.

Access is very important. I started no-budget filming because there was a public access television station in my city. More recently I have realized that I need a mentor because competition is horrible, but I have no access to any mentor, at least not now.

And it is important to live in the right place. I live in a country where most jobs in the film industry is in and near the capital, even though only a minority of the population lives there,

Hi Leonardo, thank you for the encouragement. I hope so. For now, I’m taking small, consistent steps and looking for genuine opportunities to get my work in front of the right people.

Hi Thunder, thank you for explaining your criteria so clearly. Your point about a producer’s personal interest in an idea and its real potential to be made really stood out to me. I believe a screenplay needs not only a compelling story but also the power to inspire the right person to invest years of time and energy in it. I’d be grateful for your thoughts on my logline and synopsis and the chance to learn from your experience.

Thunder, your second point is the one emerging writers underrate. A producer is not buying a script, they are signing up for years of their life with it. So the quiet question behind every read is whether this is a problem the producer wants to live inside. Marziyeh, it is worth asking what about your story would still fascinate someone in year three. That answer usually belongs in the pitch.

Any logline or synopsis that sounds like a movie I haven’t seen before makes me look twice. The genre really doesn’t matter. After that, if I make it through the first 15 pages, I’m probably reading the entire script.

Hi Eric, I found your perspective very insightful. In MY SAVIOR ANGEL, I’ve tried to combine suspense with an emotional story about family, sacrifice, and changing perceptions of others. I’d appreciate your thoughts on my logline and synopsis and the chance to learn from your experience.

Hi Marius, I found your perspective on original ideas interesting. MY SAVIOR ANGEL is a suspenseful drama about a girl’s complicated relationship with her father and the secrets that change her view of the past. I’d appreciate your thoughts on my logline and synopsis.

Ryan Phillips Preston Poulter Under 'Script Services' offered by Stage 32. Wondering if anyone has tried it?

Yes, I've tried the pitch sessions as a written pitch. I would say try the 30 minutes of zoom or phone consultation. That way your industry contact can hear or see your enthusiasm about your project.

The logline is your first impression more often than not. So the logline polish is meant to help writers make your best first impression possible. The easiest way to hook a Producer or Rep into reading your project is with a sharp logline that baits them into reading and communicates your idea very clearly. Very useful service if you need help with that.

Alternatively, I always tell writers to post your loglines in the Screenwriting Lounge. Let the wisdom of the crowd give you some ideas and help you put your best foot forward.

Due to the recent 5 week long contest, I was given the chance to use the service for free. So I sent a logline. And after a few days I received a new one.

I posted both and asked other members which was best. The majority answered that the old one was best, but too long. So I used both loglines to create a third one. Similar to the old one, but shorter.

The old one had been created in an earlier posting here. So my experience is that to create a good logline, you should ask multiple persons for opinions.

At the same time, my thanks to Stage32, because the logline they gave me helped me to create a better one.

Hi Lynette Willoughby! I wrote my own logline for Soul Mated and changed it more than ten times as I learned more and improved the screenplay. One sentence, so many existential crises lol!

Then I used Stage 32’s Logline Service. Preston Fassel gave me a revised version and thoughtful feedback explaining what intrigued him about the story. He brought the mystical romance forward, capturing something distinctive that my earlier versions hadn’t communicated clearly enough.

That fresh professional perspective helped me recognize the strongest hook and introduce the project with more clarity and confidence. His version is now my official logline, and I’m so happy because it finally feels like it’s working!

If you’re thinking about trying it, I’d recommend it based on my experience. The result was worth it for me, especially because your logline is often the first thing a producer reads or asks for. That little sentence has a big job!

That's a useful checklist, and the writer is the last person who can see their own script clearly after months inside it. What's the feedback you usually ask for first, and has it changed depending on the project?

Samantha Rivera Absolutely, Samantha. I usually start with the areas that can affect the reader’s overall experience most, especially the opening, character motivation, pacing, structure, and emotional stakes. From there, I look at what the specific project is trying to achieve, because the feedback needs to serve the story rather than follow the same checklist every time. For me, understanding what the writer wants the audience to feel is often the best place to start.

My attitude is different. Leave it to the reader to determine what they find most important to help me correct. Besides, different readers have different talent profile, so if the first reader doesn't notice a problem, then perhaps the next one will.

For me, I like to get feedback on characters. If I know a character's story arc isn't work or the stakes need to be raised somehow, most of the other problems can get solved in that process. If there are scenes that aren't adding to a character's growth and development, I want to know that as soon as possible so I know what kind of wiggle room I should give myself to solve the other problems.

If I'm being honest - in my opinion - the logline needs to be polished first alongside the synopsis. Without either of these, it can be rather difficult to get the engagement for the read to begin with. Once they have been polished, I began with a phase 1 review; the first 10 pages. This was acting as a double edged sword - I kept the full script back protecting the IP and, got an honest review of what was working well and what wasn't. This gave me a base to look over the rest following this. Now, I am in a place where I feel, a full read from the right person is due. The issue isn't the next steps however - it is finding someone willing to do it. I am happy to give it time though. This is such a personal project that I have no intention of rushing the process.

Spot on, Leonardo! Nolan’s efficiency is a great gold standard to aim for. Finding that balance between high-concept scope and precise, impactful language is the real key.

Hi, @Abi. A high-concept hook.

Let me tell about the opposite perspective. I am a scientist. If a script is presented in such a way that it appears that the writer knows less about science than the average viewer, then I expect the worst. Then there are scripts which appear to be "We have seen it all before"..

For me, with sci-fi, the logline has to hint at what the story is really about underneath the machinery. A cool concept helps, but I’m much more interested if the logline suggests there’s an existential question, moral dilemma, metaphysical trap, something like that baked into the premise. Ideally the sci-fi element feels like the perfect tool for exploring that idea. That’s what I look for in a logline: hook + thematic pressure + a character forced into a hard choice.

Thanks for breaking this down, Pat! That 'Big Goal, Simple Mission, Twist' formula is super helpful. Applying that structure really helps keep a complex high-concept world focused on a clear narrative spine.

Mark Anderson happy birthday! I hope your day is as wonderful as mine was on Wednesday! Like you, nature is one thing that fills my creative mind and I really enjoyed my time in the mountains. I didn't want to come home!

Yes, Elle Bolan doing well - I hope, haha.

We made the decision earlier this year to come off the road and conclude our world travels after 27 months. We are returning to a completely different and foreign life as my wife's parents are in their 80s and her mother is in early-stage dementia. They are in need of assistance to stay home-based. So we are moving in with them to care for them.

I am going to give myself another two years to make this writing thing profitable, and my wife is turning her parents' property (with their wishes, of course) into a homestead called Passport Pastures.

Neither of us has lived like this since we married at 19. It is going to be quite the learning experience on so many levels, and I am excited to experience the ups and downs and see how all of it manifests on the page.

I'm nervous, hopeful, excited, and scared all at once, haha!!

Happiest of birthdays Mark Anderson - hope it's grand!

Oh goodness!

Darrell A Pennington that is quite a big life change! Homesteading is such a quiet way to live. And you both are doing a wonderful thing for her parents. That can't be overstated.

I understand the mixture of feelings. Such a massive change can't be easy, but I know you, your wife, and her parents will all work together to make a good life in the years her parents have left.

You're doing a beautiful thing for them, my friend. You're a good son-in-law.

You're welcome, @Elle. Thanks. Blessings to you! Hope you and your family enjoy the rest of the trip and have a great weekend!