I've always been fascinated by one simple question: What if? Inspired by Marvel's What If...?, I wanted to explore my SAMSARAVERSE characters beyond their original storylines by placing them in everyday, real-world situations. While the main saga is serious, philosophical science fiction, these non-canon experiments use dark comedy and satire to explore human behavior, greed, power, and the consequences of our choices. Previously, I imagined the Karma Broker as a political advisor. This time, he meets a corrupt president who believes everything can be bought, negotiated, or taxed. Here's another SAMSARAVERSE dark comedy sitcom!
Disclaimer: All characters and political situations in this satire are fictional.
INT. PRESIDENTIAL PALACE PRIVATE OFFICE - MIDNIGHT
President BARTHOLOMEOW GREEDWIS, 77, a short, round-bellied man with a desperate gray comb-over and a badly dyed black mustache, sits behind a desk the size of a small country. He signs copies of his autobiography, My Life of Sacrifice. Nine hundred pages. Mostly photographs of himself. His assistant enters.
ASSISTANT: “Mr. President, the hospitals are asking for emergency funding.”
GREEDWIS: “Again? Didn't we give them something last month?”
ASSISTANT: “A motivational poster, sir.”
GREEDWIS: “Exactly. They need to learn gratitude.”
The assistant leaves. Suddenly A tall figure in crimson robes appears beside the desk. An ancient golden mask covers his face.
(The KARMA BROKER opens his Ledger.)
GREEDWIS: “Who are you? And why aren't you bowing?”
KARMA BROKER: “I’m here to discuss your karma.”
GREEDWIS: “Is that a new ministry?”
KARMA BROKER: “No.”
GREEDWIS: “Good. We're already running out of relatives to appoint.”
(The Broker looks at his Ledger.)
KARMA BROKER: You've accumulated a considerable burden.
GREEDWIS: “Excellent. Put it under national debt”
KARMA BROKER: “That's not how it works”
GREEDWIS: “Everything works that way if you control the finance minister”
KARMA BROKER: “ I'm a merchant. I trade burdens and bargains”
(GREEDWIS suddenly becomes friendly.)
GREEDWIS: “A businessman! Sit down. Coffee? Champagne? Government contract?”
KARMA BROKER: “None of those.”
GREEDWIS: “You're difficult to impress.”
KARMA BROKER: “I have your records.”
GREEDWIS: “Ah. Then you're from the tax office.”
KARMA BROKER: “No.
GREEDWIS: “Thank God. Those people are terrifying.”
(The Broker turns a page.)
KARMA BROKER: “You've diverted billions in public funds.”
GREEDWIS: “Allegedly.”
KARMA BROKER: “You built six luxury resorts with money allocated to hospitals.”
GREEDWIS: “Medical tourism.”
KARMA BROKER: “The resorts don't have doctors.”
GREEDWIS: “Neither do the hospitals. We're consistent.”
The Broker pauses.)
KARMA BROKER: “You sold a protected forest to your largest campaign donor.”
GREEDWIS: “ Sustainable development.”
KARMA BROKER: “He cut down every tree.”
GREEDWIS: “Very sustainable. No trees left to cut next year.”
(The Broker makes a note. )
GREEDWIS: What's that?”
KARMA BROKER: “An additional entry.”
GREEDWIS: “For what?”
KARMA BROKER: “That sentence.”
GREEDWIS: “Fine. Can I transfer my karma to somebody else?”
KARMA BROKER: “Only through a bargain they knowingly accept.”
GREEDWIS: “My vice president.”
KARMA BROKER: “Has he agreed?”
GREEDWIS: “He agrees with everything!!.”
KARMA BROKER: “Does he understand what he's agreeing to?”
GREEDWIS: “Of course not. That's why he's my vice president.”
(The Broker shuts his Ledger for a moment.)”
KARMA BROKER: I see.’
GREEDWIS: “What about the taxpayers? They're used to carrying things”
KARMA BROKER: “You've already given them enough”
GREEDWIS: “So you're familiar with our economic policy”
( Suddenly, GREEDWIS's phone rings)
GREEDWIS: “One moment. It's my son”
(He answers.)
GREEDWIS: “Yes, darling. Of course you can be Minister of Education.”
(A pause.)
GREEDWIS: “No, you don't need a degree.”
(Another pause.)
GREEDWIS: “Neither did the last one.”
(He hangs up.)
KARMA BROKER: “Your son owns seventeen companies funded by public contracts.”
GREEDWIS: “He's very hardworking.”
KARMA BROKER: “He has never held a job.”
GREEDWIS: “Exactly. He's a job creator, not a job taker.”
(The Broker slowly opens his Ledger again.)
KARMA BROKER: “Let me offer you a transaction.”
GREEDWIS: “Finally! I knew we'd get along.”
KARMA BROKER: “Return what you've stolen. Surrender the wealth you gained through those bargains. Give up your protection. Accept what follows.”
(GREEDWIS stares)
GREEDWIS: “No cash back?”
KARMA BROKER: “No.”
GREEDWIS: “At least a complimentary pen?”
KARMA BROKER: “You have stolen enough stationery.”
(GREEDWIS folds his arms.)
GREEDWIS: I don't like your business model.”
KARMA BROKER: “You're not required to.”
GREEDWIS: “My people love me, you know.’
(Outside, thousands of protesters chant for his resignation.)
KARMA BROKER: “They seem upset.”
GREEDWIS: “They're celebrating.’
(A brick crashes through the window. GREEDWIS ducks.)
GREEDWIS: “Enthusiastically.”
(The Broker glances at the brick.
KARMA BROKER: “It says, "RESIGN."
GREEDWIS: “A spelling error. They meant "RE-SIGN."
KARMA BROKER: “ Re-sign what?”
GREEDWIS: “ My next presidential term.”
(The Broker looks at him for a long moment.)
KARMA BROKER: Remarkable.”
GREEDWIS: “Thank you.”
KARMA BROKER: “Not a compliment.”
(GREEDWIS rises and walks toward a giant portrait of himself.)
GREEDWIS: “History will remember me as the greatest president this country has ever known.”
KARMA BROKER: “History remembers more than portraits.”
GREEDWIS:” Not if you hire the right historians.”
KARMA BROKER: “You can buy historians. You can buy monuments. You can even buy a thousand biographies.”
(GREEDWIS smiles.)
KARMA BROKER: “But you can't buy the memories of every hungry child.”
(For the first time, GREEDWIS falls silent. He thinks. Then his face lights up.)
GREEDWIS: “What if I give the children free copies of my autobiography?”
(The Broker stares at him.)
KARMA BROKER: “Nine hundred pages?”
GREEDWIS: “With photographs.”
KARMA BROKER: “Haven't they suffered enough?”
(The Broker closes his Ledger.)
KARMA BROKER: “My offer remains open. For now.”
GREEDWIS: “Wait. Before you go, can I ask one thing?”
KARMA BROKER: “Go ahead.”
GREEDWIS: “If I appoint you Minister of Karma, can we call this a misunderstanding?”
KARMA BROKER: “The position is already taken.”
GREEDWIS: “By whom?”
KARMA BROKER: “The Masked Minister. He operates in the Echo World.”
GREEDWIS: “Excellent! Does he accept campaign donations?”
KARMA BROKER: “He specializes in false mercy.”
GREEDWIS: “My God. He sounds perfect for my cabinet.”
(The Broker sudenly disappears.)
(GREEDWIS looks around the empty office. Then presses the intercom.)
GREEDWIS: “Get me the finance minister.”
(A pause.)
GREEDWIS: “I think we've discovered an untapped industry.”
(Another pause.)
GREEDWIS: “Karma.”
(He smiles.)
GREEDWIS: “Find out if we can tax it.”
CUT TO BLACK.
POST-CREDITS SCENE:
3 YEARS LATER
INT. ECHO WORLD WHITE VOID - UNKNOWN TIME
President BARTHOLOMEOW GREEDWIS, opens his eyes.
He's dead.
Official cause of death: cardiovascular complications. His office blamed the opposition for weaponizing cholesterol. GREEDWIS looks around the endless white void.
GREEDWIS: “Where am I? Is this a private hospital?”
(A tall figure emerges from the white void. Dressed in a black three-piece suit, long overcoat, top hat, and gloves, he carries an elegant cane. A cracked golden mask conceals his face. Perfectly composed and polite THE MASKED MINISTER.)
MASKED MINISTER: “Welcome to the Echo World.”
GREEDWIS: “Ah! You must be the minister my friend mentioned!”
MASKED MINISTER: “I've been expecting you.”
GREEDWIS: “Excellent. But why is everything white? where are the dancers and welcoming committee? And is there a presidential suite?”
MASKED MINISTER: “There are no presidential suites here.”
(GREEDWIS looks around the endless white void.)
GREEDWIS: “Then where's the door?”
MASKED MINISTER: “What door?”
GREEDWIS: “The VIP entrance. Surely I don't have to use the same door as ordinary citizens.”
MASKED MINISTER: “ I can offer you freedom from suffering.”
(GREEDWIS's eyes widen.)
GREEDWIS: “Wonderful! Is it free?”
MASKED MINISTER: “There is a price.”
(GREEDWIS smiles.)
GREEDWIS: “Of course. Can I charge it to the taxpayers?”
MASKED MINISTER: “.....”
CUT TO BLACK.
SAMSARAVERSE: THE KARMA BROKER WILL RETURN
“Every choice has a consequence. Unfortunately, some customers demand a refund.”
Adam Unger Add me and DM me here. There may be some synergy.
done