Introduce Yourself : Death Row Screenwriter Needs A Hacksaw by John Rachel

I'm on death row in Mississippi. The only reason I'm still here is that because of government cuts, they haven't been able to pay their electric bill. They tried to power the electric chair with D-cell batteries but I only ended up with some mild tingles which set off uncontrollable giggles -- I'm very ticklish -- so here I am. I know this sounds like a stupid idea. But it's such a cliche that they won't see it coming. Please bake a hacksaw into a cake and send it to me. I pretty much like any flavor but a nice lemon sponge cake would be dreamy. See you on the other side (I hope!).