Logline
A female police officer is exchanged in a city. There is the rule of the Pharaoh of the time, the tyrant. He has enslaved the people there. The female police officer stands and fights in front of them, and then a storm of bloodshed ensue. After a long struggle, the female police officer succeeds, but she has lost her family.
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This is another unique action story of mine. I am writing the screenplay.
1 person likes this
Muhammad Amin Rana Shekhani sounds cool and bad-ass. I think a lot of times the logline could be 35 words or less, even for action film it might even be better to try and hold it down to 25 words or less, because the visual punch of the crisp and concise gets our mind right into the story. Also a bit more industry standard and might feel more high-concept.
So if you can polish it down a bit, remove redundant phrases and develop a version in one sentence where the chronological story time on the screen through the progress of the tale is perhaps echoed or replicated in the logline, then we can almost see the film unfolding there before our eyes as we read it and understand the trajectory of the main character and antagonist, highlighting even specific elements of the drama with more details?
Such as this would be a suggested possible revision to consider:
" A female police officer loses her family but gains revenge amid bloodshed when she arrives to conquer a tyrannical Pharaoh who has enslaved the people in the city of __________ . "
I will love this
Thanks for your comments.