Acting : Imposter Syndrome, why must you haunt me so? by Doug Kayne

I recently learned that a movie I have a small, yet pivotal, role in just earned the Best Ensemble award at the Las Vegas Film Festival. I remember that on the day of filming, my Imposter Syndrome was out in full force. I was convinced that I sucked, that I was the worst actor in the cast, and I would be replaced. Unfortunately, that hindered my ability to simply enjoy the experience (despite having worked with a few of the cast and crew before and very much like them). The entire day I was filled with self-doubt. And, yet...when I watched the movie during the cast and crew screening...I wasn't bad at all!

This is, unfortunately, not an isolated incident. I remember starring in a web series I wrote over a decade ago where I was convinced I sucked the entire time (yes, the director could tell, since she and I are very good friends). Turns out...I didn't suck as badly as I thought I did.

Strangely, when I do improv, I am not hindered by self-doubt at all. Even doing dramatic improv (which was a truly fun experience), I have done amazing acting (a couple of scenes I was in we still talk about today, years later). Apparently, it only happens when my performance is captured on camera...

I try to keep in mind the attached picture, where it implies that I have imposter syndrome because I care so much about what I'm doing. Somehow, that doesn't help so much...

I still have much more on-camera acting to do. I have a horror short in pre-production and scenes from a sci-fi comedy I've written yet to film. And I know good ol' Izzy (the name I've given to my imposter syndrome) may also be showing up to set those days. Logically, I know I'm not as bad as I think I am when Izzy is there. However...

So, how do you deal when your Izzy comes to play? I seriously need some pointers...