There is never a road map for actors. The hardest thing is to keep learning about the business. Reading monologues, writing monologues, writing scripts, reading articles on acting. Studying, studying, studying. I know so many actors who simply wait at home for years for their agent to call. The excuse is always the same: I don't know what to do. That translates to: I don't care enough about it to learn what it is I need to move forward. Also, I have learned a tremendous amount from this site. It is an incredible resource. But it comes down to the one thing that almost all of us avoid: FEAR. How do we even recognize when our fear stops us? This is the one journey that we all must take on our own. I have been working my own fear out all my adult life, and when I started acting six years ago, I was grateful for the practice. But it wasn't enough. Once more into the deep I chose to go. But that wasn't enough. Last year I had maybe three auditions, and I knew my fear kept stopping me. So I worked on it. But it wasn't enough. I wrote a script, submitted it and it was rejected. I wrote monologues and put myself on video. I read dozens of articles, watched countless videos, had new headshots taken, Skyped with an LA talent scout for an hour and a half. I went to seminars. I even started learning about social media and how to build a fan base. For a noname Y List actor I thought that was pretty funny. But I started learning anyway. And none of that was enough. I work all the time emotionally to stay positive against unbelievable uncertainty and lack of knowing how to move forward. I support my friends in the business emotionally as well with their dreams, no matter how big or small. And up until three weeks ago, nothing seemed to be enough. Then, out of the blue, my agent called me about an audition. I saw a word on the breakdown and assumed it was for some no name TV Movie of the Week. As it turns out, we had to sign a confidentiality agreement before the sides were even given to us. Then, the instant I walked into the audition room I had to give them back. The penny didn't drop. Last week I got a callback and went to a major studio. I went through the same process with the sides. I actually overheard one of the actors saying that he had to go all the way back to the casting agents office after the first audition to return his sides. The penny still didn't drop. Then it suddenly hit me. Oh my God! What is this? Why all this secrecy? Is this, like, a real movie movie? Yes, it was for a major studio release. And, in that moment I understood how truly self absorbed we get as actors. I was so stunned I missed everything. Anyway, yesterday, my agent called me and told me I booked the role! I now have a pretty good idea what the movie is. It is a very small role, but for me it represents all the removal of fear I have done in the last six years. Is this going to make me a star? Of course not, I'm not that deluded. But I have taken a big step forward and I wanted to share with everyone: Don't Ever Give Up!
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