While I was an infant in an orphanage in Ypsilanti, Michigan, the nuns used to play catch with the New Testament. One of them missed and the heavy, leather-bound book landed in my bassinet. Actually, it hit me in the stomach and I upchucked the formula I had been fed only minutes before. This was my first contact with a book and it inspired my obsessive reading ever since, though I admit most books now still give me a stomach ache.
I dabbled in writing for many years, mostly bouncing checks and leaving the phone #s of people I disliked on bathroom walls. As a songwriter from my early twenties, I penned both music and lyrics to over a hundred songs, many of which are now used at Guantanamo Base in Cuba as part of their ongoing program of psychological torture.
I wrote a crossword puzzle in 1997.
Finally, I started writing novels in 2008. It has been a phenomenal and rewarding journey since.
I am now a widely-recognized, world-renowned, published author. If you haven’t heard of me, it can only mean 1) you’ve been living in a cave in Tora Bora without WiFi; 2) you’ve been in and are still in an irreversible coma from a skate board accident when you tried to jump the I-405 freeway in L.A.; 3) you got accidentally locked in the cargo bay of a C130 being stored in the Mojave Desert; 4) you’ve been spending too much time on Stage 32 and are not even aware that we have a rabid, orange, pussy-grabbing Sasquatch as the most powerful political leader in the world.
