While working on a recent project I had a revelation and it actually has a bit to do with craft. I'm not looking to take a poll or anything but I was wondering when writing if any of you notice a bit more action description when the scene is external? This doesn't always ring true with everything I do but I find as a general rule when writing external scenes the action sequence takes an extra sentence or two. I honestly wonder if this is a good sign of screenplay flow or perhaps I'm doing something wrong. It just seems as a general rule external action sequences allow for more descriptive opportunity to help the flow and get a bit of extra visualization to a good story. I welcome any input anyone might have.
Screenwriting : Ext/Int Action Sequence by Michael Lee Burris
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Never noticed anything like that in my own writing, though most of what I write takes place indoors. Very weird notion, though. Can you clarify what this extra stuff is? Details about the terrain? Is it just a function of having more space to work with?
Mostly surroundings and answering the who, what, how , when , where, why. I just think that external scenes allow for a higher alertness for the description of surroundings. Sense of sound is usually heightened, environment RE: Rainy, cloudy, sunny, bright, etc. Externally all senses should be heightened and in some way described. An actor will portray much differently dependent on environment and senses and the scene has opportunity for a lot more variation so it takes a bit more description to have it conveyed well. This might be partly a directors job but I don't think so entirely. There is usually either a wide openness, congestion, obstacles, vehicle or mode of articulation Re: walking, running, driving. There just seems to be more need for description. I still try to never run it over 5 sentences as general rule though and can keep about three sentences or under. The 5 sentence action is normally just when introducing the external scene and not always that long either. I think it helps with screenplay flow and timing. It is just an aspect of writing that I notice myself doing naturally and it is usually just a sentence or two more. Honestly I don't know if this is a good sign or not but I think it is. I notice it more in feature writing vs. television. Hope that makes sense Kerry, it does to me.
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Since this is going around the internet today... http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/descrptn.htm
William Martel thanks sounds like some things you convey are reassuring and I will constantly be learning and evolving. Do you break into external scene description in any of your books?
There is no such thing as description in a screenplay, there is only action. It's a moving picture, not a still life.
Bill, you've said that before, "only action". But on another thread you recommend the script Lethal Weapon. Here are Two excerpts from Lethal Weapon, page 1: CITY OF ANGELS lies spread out beneath us in all its splendor, like a bargain basement Promised Land. PASTEL colors. Window walls. New wave furniture tortured into weird shapes. It looks like robots live here. I defer to your expertise on most topics... but is it possible that there's more wiggle room for description than you allow?
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For me it's all in the idea of what I'm trying to put across. Now most of my work is not action filled, I'm more about acting and dialog. But if the action is need to get what I'm trying to say said and make the story make sense, then exterior or ex I'll put the action in. It's got to work in the story.
I know what you mean I think William Martel but the action is the description in visual form yet the medium is written. Still I think the two terms are interchangeable your wording however can change thinking. I could so see how that could be confusing and I could see how it could expand thinking. The realist however knows the medium is written. Ergo a screenplay although I tend to wonder if you may have got ergo confused with ergot. LOL! Just kidding seriously thanks for your input.
Description may include things that are not moving. Action (which is what the element is called in a screenplay) consists of things that are moving. We are writing moving pictures.