Screenwriting : the Giant Killer Script Ch 4 Pg 14 review…

the Giant Killer Script Ch 4 Pg 14 review

(Please note that this is done as it would be a script for a comic, I have a background in comics, so I use comic terms for the script. I do hope to get this made as a movie or short TV show. I'm looking for feedback on the pages, if you can take the time to read and leave a review in the comments. replace panels with shot.)

Page 14 - Four Panels (The Fall of Wicke)

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel One)

The knights erupt in cheers as the giant teeters unsteadily, its massive form struggling under the blow.

SB (Knights): HISS AH! HISS AH! HISS AH! (Huzzah!)

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel Two)

With Wicke stuck in the moat, Garerit strides confidently toward the giant. Using the axe he carries, Garerit swiftly beheads the giant in one clean strike, and the two heads fall separately into the water. The sound of the giant’s final roar echoes through the air.

SB (Both Heads - Roaring) NO!

SFX: CHUP! CHUP!

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel- Three - Garerit Delivers the Final Blow, Beheading Wicke)

For a moment, silence. Then the CORPSE of the two-headed giant sinks into the moat with a resounding SPLASH, sending a wave of murky water crashing against the castle walls. The knights erupt into triumphant cheers, their weapons raised high.

SB (Knights): HISS AH! HISS AH! HISS AH!

SB (Garerit - Holding the Axe High, Standing Victorious): "And that’s how you deal with a giant."

SB (Narration Caption): "With Wicke defeated, the tailor had saved the day once again. His wit and quick thinking had turned the tide."

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel- Four - Garerit Slays the Giant)

Now trapped in the moat, Wicke flails helplessly in the water. Garerit approaches with an axe in hand, raising it high. With one swift strike, he decapitates Wicke, the two heads falling into the water with a mighty splash. The water churns as the giant's body sinks, leaving only Garerit standing victorious.

SB (Gerarit - Standing Over the Giant's Body): "It's over."

SB (Narration Caption): "Once again, Garerit had outwitted the giant, proving that his wit was more powerful than brute strength."

Maurice Vaughan

5 months ago

Hi, Gregory Barone. You wrote Garerit cutting off the giant's heads twice (Panels Two and Four).

Also, it says "SB (Both Heads - Roaring) NO!" in Panel Two. The giant is talking after its heads are cut off.

Change "Gerarit" to "Garerit" in Panel Four.

Gregory Barone

1
1 person likes this
- Maurice Vaughan
5 months ago

Maurice Vaughan fix it, thoughts? is it a pass?

SB (Knights): HIZZAH! HIZZAH! HIZZAH!

Now trapped under the drawbridge, Wicke flails helplessly in the water. Garerit approaches confidently toward the giant with an axe in hand, raising it high. The sound of the giant’s final roar echoes through the air as he struggles to push up the heavy drawbridge

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel- Three)

With one swift strike, he decapitates Wicke, the two heads falling into the water with a mighty splash. The water churns as the giant's body sinks, leaving only Garerit standing victorious.

SB (Garerit - Standing Over the Giant's Body): "It's over."

(Ch4 Pg14 Panel- Four)

It's better, Gregory Barone, but two things:

1. In Panel Two, it says, "Now trapped under the drawbridge, Wicke flails helplessly in the water." He's already in the water, so I suggest rewriting "For a moment, silence. Then the CORPSE of the two-headed giant sinks into the moat with a resounding SPLASH, sending a wave of murky water crashing against the castle walls." (Panel Four)

2. The last lines in Panels Three and Four are too similar.

How about this Maurice Vaughan

Now trapped under the drawbridge, Wicke flails helplessly. Garerit approaches confidently toward the giant with an axe in hand, raising it high. The sound of the giant’s final roar echoes through the air as he struggles to push up the heavy drawbridge

SB (Narration Caption): "With Wicke defeated, Garerit had saved the day once again. His wit and quick thinking was more powerful than brute strength had turned the tide."

I think you need to reword "His wit and quick thinking was more powerful than brute strength had turned the tide," Gregory Barone. Panel Four.

I rephrased it. Maurice Vaughan

SB (Narration Caption): "With Wicke defeated, Garerit had saved the day once again. His wit and quick thinking proved more powerful than brute strength."