Your Stage : BURNSIDE UNLOADED - A Movie Not To Be Made. by Bill Conti

My name is Bill Conti, I am not an actor, a director or anything else in the film industry, but last year I tried to make a short war film set maybe during the Spanish Civil War, or maybe not, called BURNSIDE RELOADED. It was to go something like this: There is a shaky truce in the city state of Carlotta del Sol. The government is split into two ruling parties, the Spanish Fascisti de Combattimento and the Italian Federazione di Anarquistas, neither politically satisfactory to the people, but opinions are kept in check. Our story takes place in the far southeast sector of Carlotta known as Burnside to some and the Eastside to others, and follows two opposing young street brigadas, the Blackhawks and the Bums, on one day as they stumble through life, love and loyalties. And how the thoughts of one young anarchist may change their country, if not the world, if he survives the day. The movie starts at an end of another monthly skirmish between the two ruling factions. Everyone goes back to their non-combatant life’s, all except BOBBY GALTI. He makes a stand between the Fascisti and his own Anarquistas. He shows them the pointlessness of their struggle. They listen to his verbiage about freedom, sovereignty, and liberty over tyranny, most are apathetic. But his words are taken with great interest by the ruling class in the north, the Capo di Tutti Capi. BOBBY is making waves that the north will not tolerate, but some townspeople in the Burnside sector are also listening and are liking what they are hearing. The Capi Principali of Carlotta del Sol send the word out to bring BOBBY in, or at least silence him, whichever comes first, they really didn’t care. The Blackhawks, the sons and daughters of the Fascist Party are given the task of bringing in BOBBY. The production was to be done in a theater type venue, a movie play, if you like. It was to be a bit of a satirical look at governments, a dark comedy with thought provoking ideas of what people may really want in a government through the eyes of dudes and dudettes not quite old enough to vote, but old enough to fight a war. The treatment was to have a bit of a Spanish Civil War of 1936 look to it, but no real location was intended. And it was to be in black and white, not color, to give it an older, more real feel to it. The title: BURNSIDE RELOADED. With a great script and tons of props I set out to make the film, but, it went bust, no actors, no money, no movie, we did have a ton of lack of interest. At first we needed 12 people, that didn’t go, then we cut the script down to nine, then to seven people, but that went nowhere. I couldn’t get anyone to come to the far southeast of Chicago to film, guys were afraid, ladies were petrified. There was a little pay involved, movie t-shirts, lunch, and they could even keep some of the props and have a little reel for their resume. But it was a ‘NO GO.’ I had to cancel twice because of snow storms, once because the landlord who owned the building we were going to shoot in sold the building and the new landlord didn’t want anything to do with movie making. Once I had a scene with just two guys in it, they had the script, the lines, we even practiced over the phone. The day of the shoot one guy calls and says he couldn’t make it. Well, that wasn’t just one actor missing, that was 50% of the crew. And would you believe he called me a couple of days later and asked how’d the shoot go. How’d the shoot go! It didn’t go. So that was that, I tossed the script, sold off most of the props, and fired myself. My production company’s name is School Yard Productions, we are registered with the state of Illinois. We have a certificate and everything from the state of Illinois. All School Yard Productions wanted to do was to give young people and first time actors and actresses time in front of a camera. We primarily wanted new people to work with. We wanted to give people the thrill of seeing themselves on screen for the first time. We wanted to help build them a resume and enjoy doing it. I have great friends and relatives, but as far as talent or creative skills, I wouldn’t trust a one of them to pour water out of a boot even if the instructions were written on the soles. I have no camera crew, production staff or even a guy to pass out props, everyone is gone. But even after being kick in the head, put up wet and had my horse shot out from under me, I still want to do something. I kept a few props, I have a little Panasonic and a load of SD cards. Making a movie is out. But I do know how to cancel a movie which I am good at doing by now. So I was thinking of making a 30 minute comedy about a movie that is being cancelled right in the middle of it being filmed. How it is done, how the actors react, how the prop department strips away the props and so on, all when the Director yells ‘CUT, it’s a NO GO!’ I will hire 6 players, three dudes , three dudettes. And I do mean hire, no one works without some pay, that’s a big one for me. But they will think that this is an actual movie being filmed, well, three will away. Three will think it is a movie and three will know that it is a movie about cancelling a movie. I pair them up, yell ‘Action,’ no script, just an outline. And when I think the filming is going just great, I yell CUT. The movie is cancelled. What will happen, will someone get punched, or will there be tears? I don’t know. I would like to find out. I will of course keep it funny while dreams are being taken away from these young actors like so many toys by the Props Department. Everyone will get a piece for their resume reel. They can put it on YouTube, Facebook or whatever, I don’t care. The title: BURNSIDE UNLOADED. And that’s my story and I am sticking to it. So, with a thousand dollars, I can pay the actors, print up some movie t-shirts and order a few pizzas. And if you are interested and live in the Chicagoland area, come on down, you can be in the film. I'd like to raise that $1K to pay the talent, no one should work for free. At the moment I have a project tied into www.gofundme.com/burnsidebums I'm working on a KICKSTARTER project right now. Any ideas from you Dudes and Dudettes out there? BILL CONTI