Hi guys, hope you're keeping well. First post for me!
I am working on a script and in one scene two guys are having a chat when the memory of one of the two is triggered by what the other says.
Immediately we go into his mind as he imagines how an event might have happened.
I want to format this daydream kind of a scene as a Montage inside the main scene. The thing is that this scene within a scene has a title that appears to present the scene and I have no idea how to format that. My take below (not the real script): I don't think it is correct as I am not sure where the super will appear on. over black?
if you could please feedback that would be great. Thanks!
John
I know he did it
Brian looks at him.
BEGIN MONTAGE SEQUENCE - The guy is poisoned and dies
SUPER: “THE POISON & THE GUY”
— In the kitchen, the guys drinks the poison.
-- In the living room, guy starts feeling funny.
SUPER: “1 hour later”
The guy collapses on the floor and dies
END MONTAGE SEQUENCE
John
So, what do you think?
Brian
Yeah, I can see that happening
Hi Sal, I think I would personally opt for using "DISSOLVE TO" scene direction in the exact bits where the memories are triggered. So, in other words, it would look something like:
[the scene immediately before memory triggered]
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WHEREVER - PERIOD WE DISSOLVE TO.
SCENE ACTION
DIALOGUE ETC....
DISSOLVE TO:
[the scene you wish to return to]
so, eg. INT. WHEREVER - REAL TIME
I think I have seen an example of this in the script for Seabiscuit from a few years ago. I will upload a screenshot of how they did it there, if I can locate it. I hope that helps, and apologies if I have misunderstood the question!
All the best
Tony
1 person likes this
Hi Sal, how you did it is fine. You may want to add some action that clarifies the transition into the series of shots like, "Brian looks at him. Imagines the scenario:"
thanks guys!
Tony Clare it would be great to get that example from Seabiscuit. think I saw that one like 15 years ago!
Dan Guardino debatable. isn't a Montage a series of shots with a unifying theme after all?
Nick Assunto good suggestion! what do you think about the super: The poison & the guy? I feel like if I leave it there, there is no clarity over what scene it is actually superimposing on.
funnily enough, the closest example of what I am trying to achieve here is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD402UhKM9M with the title card Homer's night out.
Hi Sal. The Super is fine though I don't fully understand the question. Do you mean if you don't leave it there? Clarity will come from how you convey it on the page and how the director translates it visually, which is why I suggest leaving action cues that give context. It's similar to another note I tell writers all the time, don't use camera shots, just infer them visually with your writing.
Here's how I did a similar death (Jonah was shot earlier, made it to a park bench).
TIME LAPSE
--Jonah on the bench, one hand on his stomach, the other
hanging at his side. He stays unmoving, as people and buses
BLUR by him, and the MORNING EVOLVES TO AFTERNOON.
--Some people glance at him but then continue on their way.
--One person stops and looks, but then hurries away.
--Another person stops and pokes Jonah. When Jonah slumps,
lifeless, the person waves down a Greyhound attendant.
--A coroner’s wagon takes Jonah away while the police
interview witnesses.
END TIME LAPSE
(don't know if this is correct but, as long as the reader forms a picture...)
thanks guys.
Nick Assunto Sorry what I mean is that if I use the formatting below:
Brian looks at him. He imagines a scene.
BEGIN MONTAGE SEQUENCE - The guy is poisoned and dies
SUPER: “THE POISON & THE GUY”
Is it clear that I want the SUPER to take the whole screen (like in the Simpsons link I shared) before the actual scenes of the montage/daydream start?
I also feel it could be called a DAYDREAM SEQUENCE instead of a MONTAGE
Dan Guardino I think the misunderstanding lies in the fact that in the real script, I have three scenes in three different locations in different time frames. I kept thinking of that while you of course had my made up example in mind. My bad.
Tom Batha good one!
thanks again guys.
It's pretty debatable. A montage depicts a passage of time, most commonly, and very literally is a series of shots. It can be used to describe almost anything that fits the bill. I have no idea when or where the term "series of shots" came into play, and most of the times I see it-- it should just say montage, but I do know where montage came from so that's what I default to. I always assumed "series of shots" was just what people used when they weren't certain they were writing a montage. Something like how when Wes Anderson is listing supplies in a film. Clearly not a passage of time sped up for the sake of the storytelling, but literally just a list. I also like to look at Edgar Wright's use of the montage, and I'm not sure how he words it in his scripts, but he's definitely evolved it to a new level (especially in Hot Fuzz) where we're shown Nicholas Angel pack up his entire life and move to a new town in a series of shots that are fast, compelling, and funny. Many montages take place in a single location.
But just off of Dan Guardino 's comment, I would call it a SERIES OF SHOTS here because it's not a passage of time of something actually happening in the story. So I guess not all that debatable (I'm exhausted today gang, trying to keep up). And Sal Dam no, it won't be clear that the super takes up the whole screen unless you use language to suggest that it does. It's also hard for me to tell seeing it copied and pasted in, and not in a script format.
Dan G, does it have to be different locations?
I wrote a montage (sort of) for the first time today. I had one line.
Montage of sex and cocaine.
It is a couple partying hard in their lounge room.
The entire scene.....
INT DOM’S LOUNGE ROOM
Tish if slumped in the lounge, Dom drops a small bag of cocaine on the coffee table in front of her.
Montage of sex and cocaine.
CUT TO:
The room is quiet. Tish is draped over Dom both laying on the lounge.
TISH
Are you sure?
————-
Early draft. Still putting the story right.
Want would be a good way of formatting this so people do t have to decode it. I don’t particularly care how they have sexual or do their cocaine. They are just a couple heading at high speed to their own demise.
'TIME LAPSE'? How'd you get there?
A MONTAGE is a series of subscenes within a Master and generally occur in different locations. That means camera/lighting breakdown & reset. Your kitchen and living room are two camera setups. What's the action in the living room until he dies?
Nick Assunto Shouldn't it be a DAYDREAM SEQUENCE more than a SERIES OF SHOTS since it is actually the character taking a break from reality and daydreaming a short story about another character? It actually consists of a series of 3 shots but at the end of the day it is a daydream and should be formatted like one?
I guess my original ask can be summarized as (appreciate my made up "dying scene" example only adds to the confusion): how can I format a scene like the one in this picture?
Dan Guardino thanks Dan. How would you recommend formatting the title cards (a passe term nowadays) in that cartoon montage? Thats my #1 struggle with this scene.
Montage - Homer Night Out
Super (full screen): “Homer’s Night out”
Still not sure it'll work like that.
Thanks
thanks Dan Guardino