Hello everyone, i have uploaded a screenplay for a feature film THE DIVIDE, i will post its log line here and the link to the screenplay , please have a read and give an honest feedback as it will help me right the wrongs and also keep progressing.
log line : In a future where humanity is split between two colonised planets—Eiden, a machine-controlled society, and Vespera, a religious theocracy,a hybrid child is born. Vespera hails her as a messiah. Eiden marks her for erasure. As war brews, a fugitive ex-pilot must smuggle her to the Neutral Moon before ideology, faith, or fear decides her fate.
just some of my thoughts about it :
The Divide is a slow-burning sci-fi mystery about belief, identity, and survival. More Children of Men than Star Wars, it weaves atmospheric world building with emotional restraint, unravelling a larger conspiracy through silences, scars, and subtle rebellion.
If you're looking for loud explosions or quick exposition, this isn’t that. This is for those who want to listen between the lines, where faith and logic collide and every quiet choice could end a civilisation.
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Unique concept, Shazz K. I think your logline needs some work. It needs a better structure, and "before ideology, faith, or fear decides her fate" is vague.
Here's a logline suggestion: As war brews between two colonised planets over the birth of a hybrid child, a fugitive ex-pilot must smuggle her to the Neutral Moon before ___________.
Or this: As war brews between two planets—a machine-controlled society and a religious theocracy—over the birth of a hybrid child, a fugitive ex-pilot must smuggle her to the Neutral Moon before ___________.
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will work on it maurice thanks
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This sounds quite interesting. I'm getting some vibes from the game "Killzone: Shadow Fall."
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have not played that game Michael Dzurak , do read the screenplay, the link is in the post description, would love to hear your feedback
You're welcome, Shazz K.
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When a hybrid child is marked unfit for society, can she find a ride to safety before she is assassinated?
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Paul Rivers there are two groups, one certainly wants that
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Hello Shazz K, your brief of your story 'THE DIVIDE' seems very compelling, the goal of a Logline is to be a selling tool and it is horrible to leave anything out but the buyers want this formula right now.
Your protagonist, their goal, the antagonist, and the stakes your protagonist is willing to risk to get what they want.
If we get the Logline perfect or near perfect enough, the buyer will feel so compelled to read your script before anyone else, and if a producer "loves your script", they will write you an option before anyone else can.
Good luck
First question: Who are we following, the fugitive ex-fighter pilot or the hybrid child?