I've kept practicing by writing single scene screenplays and this most recent one has been the most challenging for me.
I decided to try to write a scene that was almost without dialogue entirely and I struggled, I'd love any feedback on how to keep the scene interesting without dialogue.
As difficult as it was for me I am trying to write anything that could be challenging so I can keep improving as a writer. If there are any other challenging types of scenes I could try like not writing any dialogue please let me know!!
Here is the scene: https://www.stage32.com/profile/1078554/Screenplay/The-Theta-Transmission
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Hi! Any creative work is based on creating conflict and contrast. In a script, it is easy to create conflicts through dialogue, but the author may face a challenge when writing scenes without dialogue. I suggest creating contrast in scenes without dialogue through artistic imagery, location elements, light and shadow, and sounds. Contrast is created by opposites. For example, bright and dark, beautiful and ugly, alive and dead, strong and fragile, and so on. Fill the scene without dialogue with contrasting details to make it more interesting.
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Hey, Joe Gipps. I like the scene screenplay. You’re skilled at writing suspenseful Sci-Fi scripts and Thriller scripts.
In my opinion, a writer should show dialogue through action, facial expressions, and body language in a no-dialogue script. A writer should also make sure things are constantly happening to keep people’s attention in a no-dialogue script, and a writer should show interesting objects and things through action lines in a no-dialogue script. You kept my attention with the script, but you could add more facial expressions and more body language.
Put the scene headings on page 1 in all caps.
I suggest rewording the first paragraph on page 1. Right now, it’s like you’re talking to the reader as a narrator.
You only have to mention Elena’s last name once, and the second paragraph on page 1 has info we already know (we know it’s an Alaskan winter and we know she’s wearing them to protect against the cold).
– – – Maybe change the paragraph to “Wears a large coat over multiple layers of thermal clothing. A cracked smartwatch on one wrist, analogue watch on the other.”
Page 1, Third Paragraph: “We follow Elena as she walks up to the large grey doors of the listening post”
– – – We know from the scene heading she’s at the listening post, so you don’t have to put it in that sentence. Taking it out of the sentence will save space in the script.
On page 2, it says, “Elena walks up to a computer terminal, the concave monitor buzzes and glows with dull green text filling the screen.”
– – – That’s one way to reveal things to the audience without a character saying them in a no-dialogue script. You can also reveal things through the environment, books, nametags, etc.
You could change the dialogue “Fucking power outages!” (end of page 4) to her yelling in frustration and slamming the phone down. There were power outages earlier in the script, so the reader will put two and two together.
Page 5, second action line: “Elena grabs the satellite phone, dialling the number frantically.
– – – Change “dialling” to “dialing.”
If you want to make the script no-dialogue, maybe change the dialogues on page 5 to computer messages.