Hello, everyone!
I'm currently working on the longline for my almost finished script. I'm feeling pretty good about it but I'd love to know more about your experiences with your own loglines and how you landed on the right one.
A euthanasia counselor believes he understands the weight of the choice he offers others — until the people he loves most start making choices of their own, and everything he believes begins to crack.
This is mine. I'd love to read yours!
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I'd suggest a few things:
1. Clarify what he believes (acceptance, letting go)
2. Makes the hypocrisy explicit (he preaches but won't practice)
3. Creates a specific dramatic irony like he's the expert who can't save his own family
4. Raises personal stakes beyond just "everything cracks"
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A "euthanasia counselor" is that a real thing or did you make up the profession so you could a story about it.?? I am curious. Sounds like it would make an interesting plot for a story.
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Hi, @Andy. Congratulations on getting almost finished with your script!
I think your logline could use some work. It's just the setup, and "everything he believes begins to crack" is vague.
Here's a logline template I use: “After/when _____ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion), a _____ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _____ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _____ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to _____ (stakes)."
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _____ (the main flaw the protagonist has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the protagonist’s personality) _____ (the protagonist’s title/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _____ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to _____ (stakes) after/when _____ (the inciting incident/event that sets the plot in motion).”
Loglines are one or two sentences. A one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it. Try to keep your logline to 35 words or less. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
Avoid using “must” in loglines. “Must” usually means the protagonist is forced to do whatever they need to do in the story instead of doing it willingly. Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “competes,” etc. You might need to use “must” in a logline though, like when the protagonist is forced by another character to do something. Using “must” to choose between two options is fine.
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it’s a Biopic, a well-known story, or a franchise).
Sometimes I put the location and date that the story takes place in instead of the inciting incident if it’s a Period Piece script.
All stories don’t follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow the template. The series logline for a TV show can follow this template, but the pilot logline and episode loglines for the show might not.
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Strong and emotionally layered premise. I especially like how the professional conflict becomes deeply personal, creating an immediate dramatic hook. Your logline clearly establishes the protagonist, conflict, and stakes without giving too much away. Wishing you success with the final stages of your script!
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Andy Celis Hi Andy, congrats on nearly finishing the script! Your logline does a great job setting up irony someone whose job is guiding others through impossible choices getting blindsided by choices closer to home. That contrast alone makes me want to know more about the story. Would love to connect and swap logline experiences if you're open to it, feel free to DM me!
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Congratulations on your writing journey
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What do we have here: 1, 2, 3 so-called script editors, all completely oblivious that this isn't a logline yet; it's nothing more than an inciting incident that feels like a logline because it's so long. The good thing, Andy, is that the part of the logline you have is workable. Keep hammering it into submission!
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I'd like to believe it's a matter of being "nice" and supportive rather than not knowing.
Blowing sunshine up butts does far more harm than good. One can be supportive and honest ... if problems can be discerned.