Screenwriting : Logline Help by David Levy

How about this one? The intolerant Sir Lancelot is sent to modern-day America to recover Excalibur with help from a Medieval history expert and her FBI agent brother before the debonair sorcerer Black Knight finds it to fulfill a family prophecy to bring forth 2000 years of hell on Earth.

Well as they say, where's the franchise? If I were to rewrite for clarity it might be: (INTOLDERANT OF WHAT? HOW DOES THAT MATTE?) Sir Lancelot, banished by Merlin to 21st century America [BUT WHY WOULD MERLIN DO THAT?], races the evil Black Knight (ISN'T THAT A BATMAN TRADEMARK) (AND WHO IS HE?) to recover the magic sword Excalibur -- and save the world from an epoch of death and destruction. BUT ... You have to suggest the possibilities for 13 episodes of this search/struggle. It also strikes me as too close to Terminator (two otherwordly superpower characters come to modern earth to save/destroy it.)

I don't think some of Richard's remarks are really on the money plus, it's DARK KNIGHT that would be Batman.... But on the question of your logline, your 2nd post gave us much more important information. So, combining them I would make it something like.... After being banished to modern-day America by Merlin, the intolerant fish out of water Sir Lancelot must team up with a Medieval History Expert and a skeptical FBI Agent to find and recover Excalibur before the Black Knight Sorcerer can unleash 2000 years of hell on Earth. Maybe something like that?

Damn Danny, sounds good! But Excalibur was lost in time and Lancelot was not banished

How is this: After Excalibur is lost through time to modern-day America , the intolerant fish out of water Sir Lancelot must team up with a Medieval history expert and her skeptical FBI Agent brother to recover Excalibur before the debonair Black Knight Sorcerer can unleash 2000 years of hell on Earth.

Well a few more off the money comments ... I'd love to understand more logic about the story. Could you tell me about the black knight and his ability to unleash 2000 years of hell? (was he a character from King Arthur? (sorry about the batman confusion but it is close so could still be an issue) There was a 13th cent knight called that). My understanding is Excalibur was a sword of power only available to the true king of Britain, so what's your mythology about how finding the sword would allow the black knight to do this harm? And whats the reason he wants to? What will lancelot do when he finds excalibur? will he live in america and run for president? or go back to the middle ages? Maybe Knight does get the sword and Lance has to get it back and get the world in place? Like what if -- After being buried deep beneath the Earth for 1000 years after King Arthur's death, the evil Black Knight uncovers Excalibur and launches Merlin's prophecy of 2000 years of devastation to Earth (cue global warming), (get Knight to America somehow) so Merlin sends valiant but socially awkward Sir Lancelot to modern day America. With the help of a sexy medieval history prof and her skeptical FBI/CIA/NSA brother, Lancelot travels the world seeking clues to Excalibur's location and ways to defeat the Black Knight. ;-)