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PETER (late 30's), a Chinese-American man, has troubles finding love due to his tendency to wet himself around women. His friend, GEORGE (late 30's), tries to help, but he actually does more harm than good since he tends to set Peter up with two girls at once. Peter's grandfather, TAI BHAI (87), tries to set Peter up with his nurse, NANCY (early 30's). Though Peter and Nancy like each other, Peter is too shy to make a move. Grandfather Tai Bhai passes away while he is masturbating. Mortified, Peter's family decides to hide this, saying he died of a heart attack instead. However, this sparks a debate between the male members of the family. Peter's uncle, JAMES (early 50's), claims everyone masturbates, while Peter's father, DAVID (58), insists he never does. Peter and George go to Nancy's birthday party. Her ex, ALEX (30's), tries to kick them out. A fight ensues; Nancy breaks it up and kicks everyone one except for Peter. She cleans up his wounds and asks why he doesn't fight; Peter says he doesn't believe in violence. Alex goes to Peter's Tai Chi class and tells him to stop seeing Nancy. Peter asks his friend, EDDIE, who is a cop, to intervene when Alex's hoodlum friend, TONY, threatens Peter. Alex, however, refuses to back down. While cleaning out Grandfather's room, Nancy gives Peter some sort of map with Chinese characters on it and asks if she can accompany him to wherever the map leads. Peter says his family has translated the Chinese words and wants to turn it into a family trip, but Nancy convinces him to go with just her. Peter tries to convince his family to let him go alone, even using their love for gambling to trick them. While they are watching a belly dance, Peter pays the dancer to drop her veil and tells his family that if the dancer makes a mistake, they will have to let him go alone. However, Alex pays the dancer even more so she doesn't do what Peter asks. Eventually, Peter simply sneaks off. Peter and Nancy arrive at the spot on the map - a place in the desert - and find an old windmill. Alex interrupts them and forces Nancy to leave with him. A Native American, WALKING HORSE (late 50's), shows up. Peter and Nancy try to trick Alex into thinking Walking Horse is more powerful than he is. Alex is almost fooled, but he then attacks Peter with a rock, knocking him out. Nancy has to promise Alex she won't see Peter again after this trip, to protect Peter from Alex. Alex leaves, but still vows to teach Peter a lesson. That night, as they camp in the desert, Peter reveals his secret to Nancy - when he was little, his mother used to make him go to the bathroom every few hours to keep him from wetting the bed, so now, whenever he faces a domineering woman, he would wet himself. Nancy is sympathetic and tries to help him overcome it. The next day, Peter and Nancy dig around the old windmill and find a tin full of letters. Peter brings them home to his family. They turn out to be love letters between Peter's great-great-grandfather and his wife. They were separated when he left for San Francisco shortly after their wedding and only reunited 30 years later. Nancy breaks up with Peter. Peter is crushed. Alex and Tony attack Peter and George, but Peter and George use their Tai Chi technique to fight back, scaring the hoodlums away. Peter and Nancy are reunited.
This Feature Film Script is uniquely funny, touching, smart and educational with a look at humanity’s way of dealing with race, color, creed and discrimination. There’s some very light Martial Arts but no real violence. A Woody Alan & Jackie Chan like character who falls in love with a girl, romancing with her, with lots of kissing on screen, with action different than Jackie Chan’s Comedy. Cross between “There’s something about Mary” & “40 year old virgin.” Treatment/summary & sample videos, are all in this movie Web site: www.AbsolutelyAmericanMovie.com Award Winning Script & Business Plan will be available upon request.