Great start, Victor Titimas! I think by adding in what the stakes are, you could bring this logline to the next level! Here's a template I was given. It's a great way to make sure you hit all the marks and then you can switch it up from there: When [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE], or else (or before) [STAKES]. Hope this helps!
Rated this logline
Great start, Victor Titimas! I think by adding in what the stakes are, you could bring this logline to the next level! Here's a template I was given. It's a great way to make sure you hit all the marks and then you can switch it up from there: When [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE], or else (or before) [STAKES]. Hope this helps!
Rated this logline