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By Tony McFadden

GENRE: Sci-fi

An alien must sabotage a groundbreaking physics experiment to protect the planet Earth from his own species.


Have Wormhole, Will Travel

Tony McFadden


Since the Industrial Revolution, aliens from the nearest populated planet to ours have been living among us, making sure we never achieve interstellar travel. Earthlings are a brutal, warring species who think nothing of eradicating indigenous populations for our own gain. Set a few decades into our future, Callum is half of an alien team enjoying a relaxed life in Sydney, Australia, making the odd trip back to their planet using portable wormholes. Callum’s job is easy – he knows Earth is far from achieving the propulsion technology that would be a threat to his kind. Then Callum’s world is rocked when he’s called on the carpet - an Earthling physicist at Sydney University, Dr. Sam Sheppard, has unlocked the mysteries of wormholes, and right under Callum’s nose. Callum’s superiors on his home planet are furious and tell him that the eradication of humans is imminent.

Callum pleads for more time – his colleagues have squashed cold fusion on Earth in the past, he can do the same with wormholes. He enlists the help of Sam’s girlfriend, Jackie, to get more information on Sam’s plans, and learns of a major demonstration for the Australian Defense Force. Callum doesn’t report this back to his superiors – he still thinks he can kill it off.

Callum successfully sabotages Sam’s trial. It’s not enough to convince Callum’s superiors, though, and they call all of Callum’s colleagues back to their home planet in anticipation of an Earth reset. Gamma rays from a nearby pulsar will be channeled through a massive wormhole and targeted on Earth. The radiation will destroy all electronics – and kill all life on Earth. Callum refuses to return – he believes there is more good than bad on Earth. His planet deactivates his ability to return to his home planet, abandoning him on Earth.

With little time left, and no desire to leave Australia (or die), Callum and Jackie convince Sam to help. Callum uses Sam’s wormhole device, and constructs a cold fusion generator to provide the necessary power. The gamma radiation directed at Earth is reflected back to Callum’s planet, Sam’s device is destroyed in the process, and Earth is off the hook (for the time being). Callum promises Sam the secrets of cold fusion and Jackie and Callum begin the rest of her life together.

Michael L. Burris

If I may Mr. McFadden. I like the concept and story of your screenplay but perhaps the action is too lengthy. I have however seen other screenplays with a lot of action. As a general rule they say less is better for action keeping to two or three lines even with the transitions. I do not consider myself an authority by no means but that is my first impression just scanning it. I wrote a lot of my first one's the same way. Mind you I'm unproduced currently but I have read a lot of screenplays from Casablanca to Citizen Kane to unproduced. My attitude was how can format be more important than the story itself but the more I read and the more I learned they really are of equal importance. Again I do not consider myself in no way an authority but that is just my first impression of it. I'll tell you what mindset I started to get with screenwriting and that was "simple summizer". Hey I could be totally wrong too you are an established author. This is an honest opinion and I see you had 22 views I wish more people would give proactive feedback. I really do like your Logline though.

Tony McFadden

Thanks MNHMLB (your business cards must be huge). The action comes from the novel writing. I think I agree with you - it can be trimmed more. And I might add back in the comedic subplot that was in the book and was removed for the screenplay (for length, mainly). I'm at a tight 95 or 96 pages and I can add that subplot with not much more than 10 pages with of action/dialog. Amazon passed on it, by the way, but I'm not surprised - it was the first I've written and I recognise it needs more work. Thanks for the comments.

Tony McFadden

New revision uploaded May 5.

Mark LaFever

Tony - cool concept! Reads like a HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY combined with more of a straight-up action/sci-fi approach. Lots of potential to be exciting and funny all at the same time.

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