I am a hobo astronaut billionaire, who works as as a top secret agent for the government.
When I'm not busy flying to Mars, or dropping my underwear in the streets for a nickel, I like to spend my time manipulating the mass media into believing stupid shit as a joke. Edward Snowden, Bitcoin, AIDS... hoaxes and scams, perpetrated for my own amusement. Snowden is a real guy, but cmon. Like it's news that the government spies for crime control. You already fucking knew that. You people just like him for his glasses.
I also run a porn star agency for high school students and hold auditions every Wednesday night. Must be 18 or hotter.