As an optimistic cynic, he sees the glass as half full but that someone probably spit in it. His favorite color is spaghetti. His five-year plan is to come up with a three-year plan. His favorite beverage is beverage and English is his second language – he has no first. A major accomplishment in his life is that he once slept through an entire episode of “Matlock”. The handicap on his golf game is so high they say he actually plays the game in the realm of dark energy. His extracurricular activities include competitive blank staring, which he plans to petition as entrant to the Summer Olympics in Rio. He refers to himself in the forth person, which is the second person twice, so he says “you you” a lot. If he had one wish in this life he would put it in a drawer and forget where he left it.