I'd be ever so grateful for your feedback on the following Logline for a feature screenplay I'm developing.
Logline: In 1985, a daring ad executive bets his career on a groundbreaking campaign for Sony's compact disc player featuring four superstars, including Stevie Wonder—none is under contract. As he navigates this impossible gamble, he grapples with the threat of his daughter losing her eyesight, adding personal stakes to igniting the digital music revolution that transforms Sony into an entertainment titan.
2 people like this
I'd watch this, Scott Westover! I think your logline is too long. It's 61 words. Long loglines can make producers, directors, etc. pass on a project.
What about this: After betting his career on a groundbreaking campaign for Sony's compact disc player in 1985, a daring ad executive navigates the impossible gamble and grapples with the threat of his daughter losing her eyesight, igniting the digital music revolution that transforms Sony into an entertainment titan.
3 people like this
I'd love to see this one! Here's my shot at it: To get the funds to save his daughter's eyesight, an ad exec gambles on a one-in-a-million chance at getting four superstars to appear in an ad campaign for Sony's groundbreaking compact disc player.