Your Stage : Logline help by Edward Goree

Edward Goree

Logline help

I wanna get help on a logline I'm thinking about using. Please have constructive criticism.

LOGINE: In a world where superheroes exist, a veteran agent, and a rookie hunts a serial killer that targets former heroes. OR In a world where superheroes exist, a veteran agent, and a rookie tries to solve the murders of former heroes.

Alejandra Melchor

I’ll say this I’m hooked. Do you have names for your two main characters. It’s always a good idea to put then in a log line

Edward Goree

Yes, I do. I don't think the names are needed since veteran and rookie already explains the dynamics of the story. What do you think about the second one? I just did an edit.

Alejandra Melchor

The second one is better

Mike W. Rogers

Just so you know, there is an animated series (based on a long running comic book) called, POWERS, by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Omeg, where this is the premise. Just so you know and can avoid being similar. Don't let it deter you though, just an FYI!

Edward Goree

Michael Rogers... Yes, I'm very familiar with the show. I actually worked on that show. It's nowhere near close to that concept, my script is very grounded like LOGAN, no flying, no heavy CGI, just good ole storytelling, subplots and plot twists that set this from that completely.

Edward Goree

Thank you, Alejandra. I'm leaning towards that as well.

Steven Harris Anzelowitz

Go to Next Level Education here on stage 32. And type in LOGLINES. I know there are a few good articles that will help.

Edward Goree

Thank you, Steven.

Chad Stroman

Although the term "in a world" is a bit cliche', it works for this purpose. That said;

"In a world where superheroes are real and venerated, a veteran agent and his rookie partner are tasked with stopping a serial killer set on wiping out/killing former/retired heros"

Or

"A veteran investigator/agent and his rookie sidekick/partner race against time/try to outwit/try to stop a serial killer in a world where superheroes exist and are being murdered one by one."

Depends on whether you want to put the environment first, protags second, objects third or flip it to protags first, object second and environment third.

Edward Goree

Thank you, Chad. I really like the first one, but the heroes of this city are not venerated at all, they have pretty much taken the police of bad police officers of present time in that regard, that has caused an uproar in the city with riots and protesting against their reckless actions. I will tweak what you provided to fit the theme of the story. Thank you.

Brad Johnson

You don't need to state that they "still exist". You could say a world where they are obsolete, endangered, marginalized, criminalized or whatever you have in mind.

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