The logline is nice

I follow many of the comments you make, and enjoy thoughts you express, but the logline does not resonate - you write well, but the above does not deliver the desired quality one would expect from you - it's okay, but I anticipated and expected more from you - I'm also disappointed you have not made the script available, I was looking forward to read/review your work - you are comfortable listing contest awards and successes, but I would prefer my own assessment - I suspect it's unlikely you were under some obligation not to make your material available for scrutiny - you expect "additional" very favourable results soon - great, why don't you let us judge for ourselves, I would like to read this "great" work and come to my own conclusion - the previous post said your logline was "nice" - I know you can do better than, that - anyway, wish you continued success - cheers.

It also says "Drop me a request, and I will send it to you." Message me your email and I will send you the latest version.

it`s a good script and has very nice story keep it up

Hi James. Sounds like an interesting story, but the logline needs more spice. At the moment it's boy meets girl, loses girl, finds girl again. What makes this story unique? Is it something about the particular problems he overcomes, like the quarreling families in Romeo and Juliet? Or is it something about his own personality that he must overcome, like in the 40-year-old Virgin? How low does he go in his journey? I would bring out anything that makes this different from those other romance stories.

It's both. There are outside forces that attempt to destroy the relationship as well as an inner problem as well. How low does he go? He can't go any deeper, that's how low. Let me see if I can figure a way to bring that out. Thanks!

I'd love to read the synopses to this one as well!

How's your reading coming along? I would appreciate any feedback you care to give me. Thanks in advance!

An interesting plot which requires a very powerful lead. I can already see a spectacled Eric Bana, Ethan Hawke -- or, just in case you'd prefer to take the journey much darker, mysterious and mystical on the way,-- Secret Window Johnny Depp kill it. Would love to see the whole script. Sincerely, Burak

None of those actors ever crossed my mind, nor can I see any of them handling the part well. You don't have any loglines listed on your profile. Have you written any screenplays? If so, have any been produced or optioned? Have you entered any contests? Have you placed (quarterfinalist, semifinalist, finalist, winner, etc.)? Are those movie clips you mentioned on your profile page all student projects? Just trying to get a better idea of where you are in your career.

A newer version of my logline has been posted. I will be grateful for any feedback you care to offer.

Let me know if you need music for this project, I've got quite a few that will fit and sound perfectly for your project.

please send me the screenplay's DONA ROSE synopsis. regards- m. Landsberg

Guess what I found snookums...

I enjoyed listening to you read the letter.

I am now trying to find the link I clicked.

Yes, it was the one.... Very nice it was too.

This sounds like a timeless piece. I would love to read it, it kinda reminds me of a recent short I just did called "The End".

Ps. I really like the title as well!

I'll trade you my private Vimeo link for a read!

The concept of fear of rejection is probably so universal that this part of the log line resonates easily with a reader. The "...epic, dark, soul-wrenching journey..." is more cryptic. It speaks of a grand story and if this is delivered it is probably a remarkable work. However there is a risk that the actual screenplay cannot live up to the log line. The reader has little to work with about the nature of the journey and some may not have the leap of faith to go from reading the log line to reading the script. As presented here, with the benefit of seeing its success in competition, a reader might have the faith to go on, but without the information about the awards it is possible that some readers of the log line might be intrigued, but perhaps not intrigued enough to read on.

There is a risk that the sun will not rise tomorrow. People have to accept the risks, or life will never be fully enjoyed. Most people who wonder if a logline delivers, asks for a synopsis or a treatment to see if the story does deliver. It's an old saying, but you can judge a book by its cover. And you can't judge a script by its logline.

I saw a sign today that applies well in this situation. "It's better to be an optimist; you can always cry later on."

Michael Hardy, I can't find you or any of your projects listed in IMDb, although you list on your Stage 32 personal information page several director and producer credits and two script consultancy credits. I also can't find "Antman International" which you list as an award you won in 2012. Can you shed some light on this? Are we dealing with a "glass house" situation here?

The Log Line is fantastic. Welldone

Cool!!!

Great Logline.

good