Screenwriting : Writing my first feature; cutting exposition by Oliver D.M. King

I am strong on dialogue and very thin on exposition. Just barely enough to set the scene. Actions are very direct. But I have worked with an indie director who does the opposite. He's strong at setting a scene, but his dialogue often sucks. Its mostly a matter of style. Exhibit your strengths.

I hope this doesn't sound glib, but the old adage of "show, don't tell" has always served me well. If I can get across what I want with an expression or gesture or a purely visual piece of action, I will.

I never put "character thinks....." I would put "The realisation of what is about to happens shows on characters face.." Not exactly what you are looking for as an answer. There is no hard and fast rules. This is what will make you the writer you are. Anyone that tells you, that you have to be like everyone else is wrong. You can only be exceptional by being different. But you can't be that different that your difference gets in the way of the story. Read Steven Knight scripts, especially Locke. His work is wonderful and shows that you can add things in that most people would scream "NO" if anyone other than SK wrote it. Things like "he uses the speed dial on his phone, we concentrate on this as the mechanism will be important as the story progresses..." People will tell you that is the directors job, or that you are not Steven Knight. Write what you think is needed. You are not spitting in a directors face by trying to get an idea across. They will cut it out. The editor has as much say in what stays and goes as a director in many films. No ones says that a director that shoots extra coverage is insulting an editor. Give them as much as you believe they need. But as I said, don't get in the way of the story. Just read a scripts. Get influenced but don't copy, be yourself. Most important, love your words and then get ready to delete them. Get the entire story out of you. Then look at it, this is when your skill starts. Remove things that get in the way adding things to make it move better.

Thanks guys! All very insightful!

Why would you mention story boarding? What's that got to do with editing your script?

Always try to demonstrate information instead of use verbal exposition. And on your first film (or your 51st) it's always better to have as much prep work done as possible before you get on the set where time and/or money is being spent every minute.

Oliver: Good feedback, especially from Craig. I never put what the character is thinking either and am amazed at how many writers do. Do not write what cannot be filmed. Also, as an exercise, I would read a script from a movie you really like and perhaps would like to emulate. Get an idea how an established writer puts forth his work. Earlier in the year, I bought a book of William Goldman screenplays, because I was really curious to see what "The Great Waldo Pepper" looked like on paper. With all the aerial sequences, the lion's share of that movie was really about conveying the action narrative. I was amazed what Goldman committed to the page; and clearly understand why he's a master of the craft. This is an excerpt where lead character Waldo attempts to retrieve a wing walker named Mary Beth, who is thousands of feet in the sky, petrified with fear and cannot get back to the cockpit of the stunt plane. Waldo must now slowly try to get to her without tipping the balance of the 1920's style biplane. AXEL uses everything he knows to keep the plane from tilting too far over. WALDO is now just ten feet from her; but going slow, because the tilt is worse now, and for one horrible moment his balance is gone and he drops flat to the wing, holding tight for life, looking at the desperate girl only ten feet away on the wing edge. She kneels as always; not a muscle has moved. "AXEL fights for balance, staring ahead as WALDO pushes himself to his knees, slowly begins the final desperate crawl toward the wing edge. Every time he slides a leg forward, the balance gets that much more impossible to keep. Each time he stops and stares at AXEL, who nods when he's got the plane balanced enough to try another foot out again. And now WALDO'S only seven feet away and now only five and that's almost but not quite enough to touch her and the balance is really precarious now. WALDO Here, take my hand. I'm going to help you back, Mary Beth. Take my hand. MARY BETH reacts slightly and turns her frightened eyes toward WALDO. WALDO Mary Beth Take it... WALDO holds onto the wing with one hand, slowly, tentatively starts to reach out toward MARY BETH with the other and the plane is really tilting now. Meanwhile, AXEL is doing every trick in the book to keep the plane near level. As WALDO asks MARY BETH once more to take his hand, she reaches out, letting go of the strut she's been clinging to with such determination. But her balance is gone and her hand never reaches WALDO as she slips off the wing into space. WALDO looks down, his hand still extended, almost frozen in his kneeling position on the wing, in despair." -William Goldman, "The Great Waldo Pepper"

@Pierre story boarding may not fit 100% in the question. But surely you have developed a board to check on pace or to see if a scene works? If not give it a go. It helps during rewrites to show what can go.

An example of a complex film with completely natural exposition? Star Wars. Tell them what they need to know and absolutely nothing else.

Hmm, maybe I will try that Craig. Thanks.