Screenwriting : Slug line question by Martina Cook

Instead of CONTINUOUS, I've used INTERCUT to denote you'll be jumping back and forth between perspectives. Example:

EXT. ROOFTOPS - DAY

Neo bounds building to building chasing Agent Smith. Smith peers over his shoulder with a sly smile.

INT. SEDAN - DAY - INTERCUT

Morpheus and Trinity crane their necks looking up through the windshield at the skyscrapers. They try to follow Neo and Smith as best they can.

Now that you have both scenes established, just remember to start a new action line every time you want to switch perspective. If there's a confluence of the action, start a new slugline to establish everyone in the same scene.

That's great, thanks.

If you are talking about cutting back and forth between two scenes you can use INTERCUT. If you are talking about cutting back and forth from inside to outside a location like a house you could use EXT/INT if the scenes take place during the same time. the same time.

If you are talking about three or more scenes in different locations neither of those would work.

Sometimes you don't even have to do intercuts. Nolan just did separate scenes the way you described Martina. In "The Dark Knight" where we have the Joker in the MCU and Dent in a basement with diesel fuel drums, Rachel in an abandoned warehouse with diesel fuel drums and Batman and Gordon racing to their rescue. No intercuts. Just separate scenes with sluglines. However, his script is also 167 pages long.

I've also seen where an intercut is introduced and the subsequent action cuts back and forth sans an "official" scene heading each time. Each location is however introduced first with an appropriate slugline/scene header (like if the intercuts take place between three locations, you have three separate full sluglines first introducing each location, then the example below) Where each paragraph of action has in bold something like

AT THE DOCKS - John struggles to free himself from his bonds.

IN HER APARTMENT - Mabel dials John's phone number again.

OUTSIDE MABEL'S APARTMENT - Black SUV's pull up. Bad guys pile out and flood the apartment building front doors.

AT THE DOCKS - John breaks his bonds as his phone begins to ring in his vest pocket.

Hmm, have to see how it looks on the page but how about doing a MONTAGE, write single bullet lines of the actions?

If your writing style is organized & uncluttered, Readers can figure out the story with or without SLUGS.

I fear a MONTAGE would suggest a prolonged lapse of time, while this is a quick war action battle. Not to bother you but this is an extract:

EXT. BATTLEFIELD, ITALY, 1945 - DAY

BEN HARPER (29), an Afro-American Private hides beneath bushes on the side of a hill, covered in mud, battered by the rain.

With his binocular, he sees a bridge: Nazis all over it.

...

Ben looks in the viewfinder. The rain is merciless. The cross at the centre of his view meets the face of the Nazi tidying explosive under the bridge. Ben’s hand shakes. His finger on the trigger. His eyes soaked.

EXT. UNDER THE BRIDGE - SAME

A HISS. Hands on ears, the Nazi drops the explosive, screaming in pain. The bullet missed him by an inch. The charge, hanging from the electric wires, skims the river underneath at every swing.

EXT. ON THE BRIDGE - SAME

The Nazis clutch their weapons and start shooting towards the vegetation on the other end of the bridge.

EXT. TOP OF THE HILL - SAME

Ben tries to align the cross again on the Nazi’s forehead. He presses the trigger and shoots.

EXT. UNDER THE BRIDGE - SAME

The Nazi pulls the explosive up, while bullets miss him by a hair.

The action continues with this intercut for another page as Ben and the Division, emerged from the bottom of the hill, fight the Nazis and save the bridge. The action unifies once they are all on the bridge. Should I leave SAME?

In that case, you probably only need to use UNDER BRIDGE, ON TOP OF BRIDGE for those scenes, then a separate slug for EXT. TOP OF HILL. I don't know that it would hurt either way. (But now, I could definitely be wrong.)

martina,

it's hard to tell how your script page looks. this stage 32 forum makes pages look blocky text but using your script example, I would just delete words like "EXT," or "SAME"

just write BRIDGE- your action. skip a line write "TOP OF HILL"- your actions. It's just understood that the MC is looking at Nazis at a different location.

reads faster.

A suggestion from an action pro writer I know- he said to make the Reader's eyeball to go down the page. start with long sentences, then start deleting words, make shorter sentences. It forces the Reader to turn pages. that's the theory. hard to do. Tony Gilroy is great with 1- word action lines. his scripts don't read confusing

Well written. Good action sequence. Another option during intense action would be to have something like...

"Ben reaches for his binoculars, slick from the rain.

BINOCULARS POV:

A bridge ahead. Nazis swarming it.

He drops the binoculars. Lunges for his rifle. Raises it quickly.

BEN'S POV...

Squinting through the scope, its cross-hairs zeroed in on a Nazi attaching explosives beneath the bridge."

(But for split-second action/reaction, a MONTAGE sometimes works well, as Dan M suggested. Just don't overuse it.)

You've set the action in a master shot (Director speaking). Jumping from place to place is a camera re-location - traditionally, that's thought of as a new scene. But in this case, I suggest you use sub-scene headings to maintain the high action rhythm and increase the drama. This is not the sort of scene you want to slow down. But that's just my opinion and I'm often wrong.

Wow guys, these are all great options...Thanks for that, it gives me prospective on the scene. I'll rewrite it based on your suggestions and chose the one that sound more familiar...But thanks again, really appreciated.

Hey Martina, I would go back and dig up some scripts and read what they are doing. A script that I reccommend and love the way it is written. The way Walter Hill writes. A particular script that I love is an old one called "Hard Scrambled," it's so terse that it makes you pick the quality words and action of what is happening. The action paces so well you feel you are a crack head on parade with you're crack pipe. Sorry, if there is any crack heads in here but you know what I mean. Hope you are all great! Keep on writing on love bugs. Also, a good consultant I'll recc. is Danny Manus. You could connect with him on here. I believe he would help you make some great decisions on where you need to go with your script.

Warm Regards,

RJN

It just occurred to me. I wrote a sequence yesterday that COULD have been an intercut (may still end up being) where it took place in three locations. However I just used separate scene headers and action for each one. Reason being that I had dialogue that popped up during the intercut which kinda merited separate scenes IMHO. Basically I had a huge event happening at location 1 and being observed by other characters at location 2 and other at location 3. Location 1 was where all the action was happening and location 2 and 3 where observers reacting.

I did specifically the same, Chad - almost: The characters in all three scenes are actually doing things, but the primary action is occurring in one location, and the other two are affecting it remotely.

Martina. If that is what you are writing you should just use a series of shots.