I just wanted to post the comment summary from the coverage notes of my first script. I just received these notes recently and wanted to let aspiring writers get a peek at the process.
The notes for my script were a very mixed bag. There are certainly a ton of things I can work on, but there were also things that the reader seemed to enjoy. Being my first script, I'm actually pretty content with the outcome, and I got a lot of great feedback from the reader. I'm actually anxious to begin the rewrite.
Though this is just a small portion, and the rest of the notes gave incredible detail, it will give you a glimpse at what it could be like for you.
"This is a flat and disappointingly unimaginative story about a girl from Earth who has always dreamed of winning an intergalactic beauty pageant and now has finally gotten her chance. The premise is actually a strong and imaginative idea that opens the door to a smart and thematically strong story. The writer did write a story that is smart and thematically strong, but it is unfortunately also flat and lacking in drama. The characters are particularly flat with little divergence in their personalities and no depth to their personalities either. The writer also needs to take another pass at the dialogue. The first problem with it is that there is too much of it. This story is crying out to be told visually, and the writer instead gave us page after page of mostly dialogue. The other problem with the dialogue is that it's too expositional. Instead of showing us the story (film, and especially animation, is a visual medium), the writer told us way too much. "
Thanks Laura. It seemed like the reader's biggest areas of concern were that I had too much dialogue, too much exposition and outside of a couple, my characters weren't fleshed out enough.
Some may be disheartened by such blunt feedback, but I'm actually excited to get back to work.
I made the same mistakes with my first few scripts. A lot of exposition writing. So the feedback was gold. I believe it was along the lines of: "A good story with potential but very overwritten."
I wasn't upset. I needed to know that. That catapulted me to a place where I chose to invest in an optioned screenwriter to work with one-on-one for 2 years. Personally, it was the best thing I could have done to help me in the craft. I have read books, read screenplays, taken online courses, and read blog posts until the cows came home. For me, working one-on-one with someone was exactly what I needed.
Your mindset is exactly as it should be. :)
One never stops learning in this craft.
Thanks, Joleene. I'm really happy with how the rewrite is going. The notes put me in a good position to think of some cool additions to the script. All while being able to cut down the dialogue.
Haha since it's an animated movie, I probably won't focus on breasts, Erik. Plus it's a little more than just a beauty pageant. I have three days that tests the contestants' intelligence, might and beauty. I have trivia game shows and a triathlon type contest. I thought a true beauty pageant would be too boring for animation lol.