Trying to get some feedback on a logline I just came up with. Please have a go at it. Thank you.
In 2050 Detroit, the first humanoid will be granted citizenship but finds her life in danger by her own creator.
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In 2050, a humanoid is the first granted citizenship, but soon fears her life is in danger.
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In 2050, the first humanoid is about to be granted citizenship but not if her demented creator destroys her first.
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Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm definitely reworking it so it will have a punch to it as Bjorn Black mentioned.
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So maybe I shouldn't pay some professional $49.00 to help me clean up my logline, huh?
This reaching out to others within the stage 32 Network y finding that there are professional screenwriters, producers and directors out there that are more than willing to helping others from the kindness of their heart seems to be working pretty damn good...