Hi, my name is Johny. I recently wrote a screenplay titled Bismarck, that tells the story of the famous German battleship of the same name. You can read it here for free: https://www.google.co.in/books/edition/Bismarck/y2a3DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0
Comments are welcome.
Johny. Very interesting theme!. Scrolled through it. It is 157 pages long. But in reality more like 175 pages long. You have to (1) cut up your paragraphs - four lines max., and (2) shorten your dialog (a lot). I would love to read it on a snowy Sunday while not drowning in a sea of words; so you have to give me some breathing space by creating a bit more 'white space'. See the "white space" as the tranquilizing sea -- wave by wave you draw the reader into your story. Don't let das boot sink before the end of the story! Best, Rutger;
Johny Jagannath I looked at it and I do think it is a different and interesting take on the story. IMO, don't fret reflex responses to the page length, especially while in development. Remember that Quentiin Tarantino's scripts got o several hundreds of pages.... Having said that, this is a good first draft, but is not a script ready for "sale," or pitching to regular industry (if you have that intent), because of the points made by Rutger Oooserhoff above. It is NOT in fact hard to read, but script readers and those who do coverage are, in my experience, rather lazy, their ability to assess artistic direction is often lacking, and they are easily distracted by purely technical matters like typeface, paragraph length, page count... because by and large they are unsold aspiring screenwriters with very little experience of their own, and they are trying to conform to a technical industry standard. I do think you might cut down on the action and description as it artificially inflates your page count and unless specifics are squarely story driven, they are the province of a director and/or DP in preproduction.
Rutger, I thank you for your feedback. I'll try and reduce the page count.
Shadow, thanks for reading my work and for your feedback. I do plan on pitching. But I know that most established Production companies don't accept unsolicited submissions. So I'm just hang around here and wait to see if an opportunity opens up. Meanwhile I'll continue to tweak my script.
Barry, thank you. I look forward to your comments. Regards.