Your Stage : Opinion by Jerrell Camper

Jerrell Camper

Opinion

A group of siblings must travel through time in order to save their mother from forces unbeknownst to them before their entire existence is erased while fighting dinosaurs, Vikings, and Themselves.

Would love any and all opinions on this longline and how I can improve it or make it more interesting

Claude Gagne

Through what?

Jerrell Camper

time

Craig D Griffiths

If this is a logline it is tradition not to mention names. I would also start with the action and possibly the struggle.

A man must travel back in time to stop the abduction of his mother but xxxxx forces him to xxxxxx.

Jerrell Camper

Thank's so much for the advice craig.

Shaner Ortiz

Like the concept already

Shanika Freeman

Ohhh, I love a good time travel story!

Instead of putting his name, I think I would try to describe Nathaniel. What makes him interesting?

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