Hey guys, I'm kinda new here as an aspiring screenwriter. I've already written two scripts, but one in particular called The Pit has me at a deadlock. I'm at that point where I feel like I can do all I can and really want OTHER people to look at it and see what improvements I need. I'm trying Wescreenplay for some coverage consultancy, but is there other ways on here to share your work with people for advice or even collaborations?
I put two of the screenplays on the Loglines for people to see, but I don't think anyone really saw them, except for reviewing the actual logline.
TITLE: THE PIT
LOGLINE: When Harry Stanton awakens in the cold darkness surrounded by strangers, with no knowledge of how he got there, he must traverse an endless cavern teeming with brutal traps. But there is more to the void than he realizes...
If I should post this elsewhere, please let me know, and thanks guys!
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I think the problem is that the logline is vague so nothing sounds special. The lost of memory - no knowledge of how he got there, brutal traps, more to the void are nothing new in a horror scene. Maybe you can post the synopsis or you can tell us more about the story so we can help better. Good luck.
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Hi, Travis Macready. I would do what Dan Guardino suggested (read his script and see how to write a script more economically). I would do this (then apply the knowledge to your script) before buying script coverage.
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Hi there, Tripp! This might sound like a small suggestion (makes a major difference, though), but I say dare to get more specific. Harry Stanton's name doesn't tell us as much as the adjective+noun pairing that actually defines him as our protagonist. We'd also love to know what's actually at stake here beyond "there is more to the void than he realizes... ". Spelling these things out for the audience not only helps them know precisely what they're getting into, but it hooks them in far more effectively than leaving things a bit ambiguous/not getting as specific as we could.
Get a copy of CHINATOWN. The screenplay is online. Good example.
Harry Stanton as the late actor? Premise reminds me a lot of "Open Grave". Need to be more diverse as a new coming writer. First, second script almost always don't get to be movie, but says a lot of introducing you to the filmmakers world...