Greetings all! I’ve been trying to rework a logline in another forum, and I keep getting conflicting feedback. I’m sure it equates to personal tastes, but I’ve had some who insisted I add a great deal of specific elements, then when I do others say it’s way too much. Can’t seem to find that magical happy medium.
Here’s what I seem to like best at the moment - wondering how folks here feel about it:
Title: James and Peter
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Logline: When James, the devoted caretaker of lost boys on a magical island, is forced to leave, he struggles with his personal values in order to defeat the unhinged protégé who banished him… Peter Pan.
Thanks all!
Would also pitch it on www.logline.it
How does this story fit into the Peter Pan universe? Is it some character's origin story, for example? If a script is based on pre-existing IP then it's my understanding that can be attractive to producers. So it may be worth clarifying in the logline.