Hi guys, I have a query letter ready to send out to producers/agents but I wanted some insight. Please give me your honest thoughts on it and how I can improve it.
Dear Agent/Producer,
I have completed a screenplay called DEADLY WOODS that I would like to submit for consideration.
Genre: (Horror, Suspense)
Logline: When a masked serial killer attacks a ski resort , a young woman who suffers from xylophobia must traverse through the snowy woods to survive and save her friends.
Set in a ski resort, DEADLY WOODS tells the story of Tina who suffers from xylophobia due to a traumatic childhood experience. When the winter wedding gets interrupted by a masked killer, Tina must overcome her phobia and the cold to save herself and friends.
I graduated from San Jose State University in 2021 with a degree in Film. I have written scripts for Illumeably Media as well as read scripts for Blue Cat Screenplays. DEADLY WOODS was also one of the quarter finalists in Coverfly’s screenwriting competition in 2022.
If you are interested in reading the full length screenplay of DEADLY WOODS, please let me know and I will send you a copy of the script.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
James Fine
2 people like this
Two minor things:
1. "... must traverse through the snowy woods to survive and save her friends." Cut 'through', since 'traverse' means 'travel through'. The extra 'through' is pleonastic.
2. First time you mention 'xylophobia' put (fear of woods) after it. I have never seen the word before, so suspect it is not common. I know Greek, so knew what it meant, but you might lose some who don't.
Otherwise I think it looks good, concise, polite and to the point.
2 people like this
Yea but why the killer? Isn't her fear of woods nemesis enough? I mean, just run your imagination wild here...all kinds of monsters attacking her end up being just a bunch of deer's and rabbits?
2 people like this
Christiane Lange thank you for the input! I'll definitely make those adjustments to my letter.
1 person likes this
Kiril Maksimoski the idea is that Tina must overcome her fear to save herself/friends from the killer. I want her fear to be a constant hinderance on her until she learns to overcome it.