Hello, WORLD'S GREATEST SCRIBES!! Hope all is well in your individual orbits.
I'm scratching my head over this one. I've attached the scene from my drama / thriller, WHERE'S GRACE? to where protagonist DEBRA MCCAULEY, a chronic alcoholic, wife to Kent, and mother to Grace, age 6, is presented in Flashback when she and Kent were teens in love.
Return to reality. Debra carries on with her day. Following her clothes shopping, she returns home, parks her Range Rover in the driveway, then strolls down to the local pub for some lunch and a "bottle of the purple stuff." As she walks, we hear Debra present an echoed question in her mind: "Kent, what's the matter?"
Now this is where it gets tricky, for I want to return to the original Flashback with the two teens drenched in the mall's fountain. It is here where Debra's mind raises her current issues with alcoholism. Her question addresses Kent, as he looks at her, horrified, turns, and sloshes his way out of the fountain. The alteration to the Flashback: Debra raises hands over head as the fountain cascades over her body. Fountain water now gushes red wine everywhere, including the wine glass held in her right hand.
So? How do I properly format (as clearly as possible) that we are returning to the Teen Flashback with an alteration showcasing Debra's alcoholism as an adult?
Thanks in advance!
Hope this makes sense.
Let The Head-Scratching BEGIN!!!!
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Hey, Bill Brock. I'm doing great. Hope you are too. How about this:
INT. UPSCALE CLOTHING STORE - DAY
Debra faces a variety of high-heels...
FLASHBACK: INT. MALL - MAIN LOBBY - DAY
APPEARS ON SCREEN: 15 YEARS EARLIER
Debra, 17 and Kent, 18...
INT. UPSCALE CLOTHING STORE - DAY
Still lost in memories...
EXT. HOUSE - FRONT - DAY
Scene
INT. HOUSE - DAY
Scene
INT. LOCAL PUB - DAY
As Debra strolls in, she stops at the doorway.
SAME FLASHBACK: INT. MALL - MAIN LOBBY - DAY
Debra, 17 and Kent, 18...
INT. LOCAL PUB - DAY
Still at the doorway, Debra stares at a beer in a customer's hand as he dances past, fighting the urge to snatch the bottle and gulp down the alcohol.
An echoed question plays in Debra's mind:
DEBRA (V.O.)
Kent, what's the matter?
SAME FLASHBACK: INT. MALL - MAIN LOBBY - DAY
The teens are drenched in the fountain water now.
DEBRA
Kent, what's the matter?
The argument. Kent sloshes his way out of the fountain.
Debra raises hands over head as the fountain cascades over her body. The water now gushes red wine everywhere.
INT. LOCAL PUB - DAY
Red wine flows into a glass Debra holds. She's sitting at the bar, gazing at the drink. Snatches the glass away and gulps down the wine before the bartender finishes pouring.
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Funny case. You describe a flashback that transforms into fantasy: FLASHBACK action CUT TO FANTASY action BACK TO SCENE. No slugline after the transition.
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Maurice Vaughan Wow! Thanks for going that extra mile for me, Maurice! You shouldn't have. I plan on keeping the existing scene at the bar. She's having lunch alone at a table. Her server says something that triggers a portion of her abandonment all those years ago. During her lunch, she sits beside a window and witnesses a young dad parking his car in front of an ice cream shop. A little girl, presumably his daughter enter the shop. Poor Debra. Its would appear EVERYTHING is falling apart.
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Wal Friman Thanks, Wal. You made it sound so easy. And there it was, staring me in the face the whole time! : )
You're welcome, Bill Brock. Glad to help. I did have to do some head-scratching at first. I like your Idea to go from fountain water to wine to glass wine!
Run the lines out loud. Separate each section to work on the grammar. Double space so you can correct as you go. From a Professor and CEO and Ghost Writer standpoint. I started practicing flashbacks from Searching for the Perfect Place this week to fill in important details from a screenwriting standpoint.