Logline: After losing his wife, a grieving father makes a deal to grow new children from her remains—only to discover what he’s creating isn’t entirely human.
(Script available for review for anyone interested. It pulls NO punches, and has VOICE for days)
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I like the logline - perhaps add some sort of stakes related to his discovery.
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Agree, solid logline but what's at stake with the kids not being entirely human. We're already suspending disbelief based on the premise, so we need to know what grieving dad is really up against
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Pat Alexander here’s a better logline: A grieving, alcoholic father of a severely autistic son makes a deal with a mysterious underground scientist to resurrect his dead wife’s DNA and “grow” the perfect children he always wanted—but as his new family rapidly evolves into something unnatural, he’s forced to confront the monstrous cost of trying to replace the child he already has.
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Salustiano Berrios I like it.
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Pat Savage can you help me make it? It’s unlike anything out there right now. I don’t say that lightly.
I'm no expert but what's at stake with the kids not being entirely human?
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Pat Savage The children don’t just turn “unnatural”—they become actively dangerous. One develops a predatory, insatiable hunger, and another begins targeting his autistic son, turning his attempt to replace his family into a direct threat to the child he already has.
There’s more to it, but I can def add that to make the logline more clear. The script really goes places most don’t. I can see the challenge of hitting the highlights in a sentence or two