I have just finished a rough draft of a Modern Family Spec. If someone could offer feedback or notes, it would be greatly appreciated! Message me if you're interested, and I will send you the link!
Screenwriting : Feedback Needed On Modern Family Spec by Daniel Morgan
Feedback Needed On Modern Family Spec
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I can! Inbox it to me.
Pl post it here , so that we can read it.
Hey, reading it now. What kind of feedback are you looking for (it's one of my favorite shows, so it's gonna have to be good. ;^)
Is it funny? How can I improve on this spec? Or anything else that you noticed.
A few comments: 1) The episodes have a bump before the credits, usually not related to the main story. Yours is missing this. 2) The ep is too long. An episode is 22 minutes (without commercials) and yours is roughly 5 minutes longer than that. 3) the Phil/Alex bit seems forced. Phil usually make unintentionally funny wordplay comments. This seemed to be just wacky Phil (which is certainly a component). The situation is a good one, but I think it needs to be snappier. 4) Where's Haley!!?? Generally speaking you've got the "voices" and situations down, but I think the dialog needs to be "sharper". Good luck! It's a great show with fantastic writers. I think you have to reach very high for this one.
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Thanks for the feedback. This really is helpful. I need to find a way to make the dialogue sharper, and have more Phil word play. As for Haley, I left her out of the draft. I know there are some occasional episodes where some of the Dunphy kids are left out. In Three Dinners, that aired a couple of weeks ago, Alex and Luke aren't in the episode. But, maybe I can find a way to fit her in the episode. She's a great character.