THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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CERULEAN EYES
By Devany Pamiza
As his final moments slip away, a dying man makes a promise to his wife that love will outlast loss. One that finds its echo long after he’s gone.
SYNOPSIS:
Michael Noble, a hardworking family man, lies in a hospital bed with his wife Joanne at his side. As they reminisce about love, regrets, and fleeting time, Michael reveals his weariness with failed treatments and his desire to let go. Their son Wyatt and granddaughter Mila visit, sharing joyful news of Mila’s medical career, giving Michael one last chance to offer words of encouragement. After making Joanne a tender promise that he will always be with her, Michael quietly passes away. Months later, as Joanne mourns and learns to live with his absence, a morpho butterfly appears outside her window. Its cerulean wings a gentle reminder of the eyes she loved, and of the promise he kept.
CERULEAN EYES
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Hi Devany Pamiza - this sounds like such a heartfelt, touching story. I love the hope that it offers in the face of such a tragic loss. As far as the logline goes, I would consider adding a goal for Michael. Is there something he is trying to achieve that is part of the plot? The goal doesn't have to be a physical one - it can easily be an emotional one. They key is to state it in the logline so that producers get a good grasp on the plot of the story. Also, consider adding some stakes. What will happen to Michael if he doesn't achieve that goal? Here's a good template that I use for loglines: “After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Hope this helps!
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