THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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EMBEDDED
By Dashiell Finley
When a troubled young police officer goes undercover to bring down an infamous mob boss, both men find themselves marked by a powerful demonic entity with roots in their shared past. |
SYNOPSIS:
“Embedded” exists somewhere between “Insidious” and “The Departed". Set in the underworld of Providence, Rhode Island, the plot follows TREVOR (30s), a brooding young cop who is tasked with infiltrating a criminal organization led by his charismatic former mentor WALSH (50s). But when Walsh makes Dylan pilfer an occult token after a heist, he finds himself possessed by an otherworldly force which imbues him with strange supernatural abilities.
While his fellow cops pressure him to make an arrest, Dylan must band together with Walsh as they are pursued by the acolytes of a bloodthirsty Satanic cult, intent on claiming the token for their own dark designs. Battling demons both within and without, an increasingly warped Dylan must reconcile with buried secrets and rediscover his own faith if he is to ward off the impending apocalypse.
EMBEDDED
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When [INCITING INCIDENT] occurs, a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE] or els [STAKES/CONSEQUENCES]
What sets things in motion=inciting incident? Probably not the cop going undercover but 'finding the occult token'.
[[When during a hyst a [troubled undercover agent] -and his target - a [mob bos] , spilfers an occult token that gives ?them? strange supernatural powers]] , they must ?band together? to [OBJECTIVE=defeat the token's demon (and a sataninc cult wanting the token for their own dark desighn)] , or [suffer eternal darkness.]
Although this logline makes the protag more active through "they must", it's already much too long and missing the fact that the entity has "roots in their shared past". But Is this really key for explaining the absolute 'basics' of the story?
Looks like I'm not able to make this even better.
The question still is is: What elements are absolutely key and what elements can be explained in the story? Could put it on logline.it and see what they think about your logline.
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Thanks Rutger-- these are very helpful notes! I appreciate it!