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THE MCBRIDES

THE MCBRIDES
By Erna Mueller

GENRE: Romance, Comedy
LOGLINE:

When her male reporters, including her sexist brother, volunteer to take part in a Ukrainian bride service for an article, a senior editor must do all that she can to contain the craziness that follows, and guide the guys into finding true love.

SYNOPSIS:

STORY

"McBrides" is an ensemble piece written along the lines of "Isn't it Romantic" meets “Love Actually." This story is guided by the protagonist, Clare, (40's), who is a senior editor at a men's magazine. She’s in-your-face assertive but is still in the closet about her sexuality. She's trying to reform her younger brother, Anton (30's), who also works at the magazine, to respect women and ditch his sexist attitude. Clare wants to convince her boss, George, to update the magazine to feature real women and not airbrushed young models, but he won’t greenlight her project about women who overcame obstacles titled "The Spirit of Beauty." Instead, George wants a Ukrainian mail-order bride feature. Where can an ordinary guy get a gorgeous bride? From the Ukraine, of course.

Clare is afraid to come out to her old-world father, Ivan. He comes from Russian royalty and still carries his scepter, which he saved hiding it in a cow's butt during the Bolshevik revolution. Ivan talks Anton into using the Ukrainian bride service, and Anton convinces his two lovelorn buddies and co-workers, Ben and Rich, to join him. When they arrive in Kyiv at a party given by their Sponsors, the Ukrainian men force them to drink Vodka like a true native. This results in a massive hangover - and a repulsive hangover cure. A female bear from a band of native folk singers takes a fancy to Rich, but he's afraid of the bear, so it's unrequited love. The guys barely survive an authentic "Banya," which is a Russian steam bath, consisting of dousing their naked bodies with ice water and flogging them with branches. Clare is attracted to the stern head of the bride's committee, Madame Gribanov, but is afraid to respond to her advances.

The guys get to choose from hundreds of beautiful women and pick their gorgeous fiancées. The girls have only 90 days to find out if they want to marry or not. Anton's fiancée, Kiska, stops smoking to adapt to the smoke-free U.S. and gains weight, so in Anton's eyes, she is no longer what he "ordered." Kiska is a powerhouse of a woman and argues with Anton constantly, but she still loves him since she knows Anton is basically a good guy. Clare’s jealous boss, George, tries everything in his power to stop her endeavor, but she outsmarts him. Clare's article becomes a hit, and she is promoted to editor-in-chief. At the office celebration, George is drunk and outs Clare as gay. Her co-workers applaud, but Clare doesn't need their approval. She anxiously looks at her father. He is angry, but not at Clare. He hits George with his royal scepter and says he's proud of Clare no matter who she gets jiggy with. George gets a sniff of the scepter and cries, "This smells like shit!" Clare kisses her new love, Madame Gribanov, in front of everyone, and openly celebrates her sexuality.

THE THEME

Clare's article "The Spirit of Beauty" illustrates women who have overcome obstacles with photo montages and snippets into their lives. (Her project mirrors this screenplay's theme and ties all the points of the story together.)

The three guys start their journey believing true love only comes in the form of arm candy. Ben and Rich's character arch occurs when their hearts are broken by their brides. Once they have learned their lesson, they both find their true love with local girls who understand them. Anton and Kiska's love is solid but only after she changes his attitude towards women. In the end, all the guys realize that beauty is only skin deep, and in reality, character and personality is a stronger aphrodisiac than physical appearance.

WHY WE NEED THIS STORY

Unfortunately, women's self-confidence suffers from the media's limited perception of physical beauty. My script demonstrates that the average woman is a perfect "10" for any man because of her spirit, love, and self-confidence. I wrote this script to make women feel good about themselves. We need more movies out there, such as "I Feel Pretty," and "Isn't it Romantic," to undo the damage of unrealistic beauty standards.

THIS WOULD BE INTERESTING TO A FEMALE ACTOR BECAUSE…

The very successful TLC reality series "90 Day Fiancé" is about women/men finding their mates abroad. There are many female celebrities addicted to this series, including Amy Schumer and Brie Larson. A good fit as one of the female leads would be Amy Schumer, Melissa McCarthy, or Rebel Wilson since the characters are three dimensional, and they can showcase their comedic talents. A reader mentioned that Christine Baranski would make a great Madame Gribanov.

It's the Ukrainian brides who dominate the superficial guys, and not vice-versa, so this script is me-too and feminist-friendly.

CREDENTIALS

"McBrides" is in the top 4 winning screenplays in the Romantic Comedy division on MovieBytes.com, and has received a recommended coverage from Script Reader Pro and WeScreenplay.

I immigrated to the U.S. from Austria with the K-1 Visa (fiancée Visa) so I am experienced with the differences and comic situations that arise between two different cultures.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

THE MCBRIDES

View screenplay
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