Marian Gheorghe: Actor, dancer and singer in Milano, Italy.

09:35, 29 FEB 2020, Italy. I felt time stuck, and me not beable to do nothing in alls days

Hi, after 6 years? Got back on stage32, has I stared on Nov 2012, and remain stuck! Now after 6 years seem nothing change my life, only get worst for drugs abuse Fromm psycho pharmacy and Benzodiazepines as I told me it help me, now lost dreams an actors, maybe is better that real life is made up of real things not Dreams of things that one day I will be an actor, can even spoke English fluently.. so this drugs make apathy on emotions slow down my thoughts and worries of future as try to been an actors at any cost. Even i give myself on sex things before psycho pharmacy and getting worst in worst. Then i got so much anxiety and Panics from discovery that everything is merely illusion of fake dreams unreals. Only money and friends can buy fortune as we called it! So drugs for 3 years it male get real and very depressed and apathetic on life. Now two years left led this shit on discovered that this drugs, Zyprexa, it’s it’s shrink my brain then 10% and loose almost my memories. So I had to stoped and try to fight to have back my life. But when I quiet my drugs with doctors I started having more then 30 Panic attack each day for 10 moths. Then stuck emotions then I got back emotions crying each as possible but this nasty drug with Xanax on try to reduce Panic Attack it make more painfully. Each day try to suicide and yet now my panic attack and all kinds of withdrawals symptoms are almost gone. After almost two years started to get better but not yet out, I was like in movie Beautiful Mind with Russel Crow. So now start to get little better less panic and yet my emotions are bit stuck! So now I want my revenge of realize my dreams of actors or I will feather die then live this unreal life. But my apathy sometime is block my thoughts and I don’t know how to fix this problem. Now felt more older and less shine the before it. And time pass me and my dreams are in mind but my body it can’t let me out of emotions. Try to wait and with fatigue if time is give me, I try again theatre and focus on myself, but depression and stuck me again. And more money is alway missing it! And I can’t work. Hope I will get sooner better and getting out of this nightmare. Sorry for tell my story. 16:37, 11 July 2019. Italy-Milan. Or 07:38 LA Time.