In this otherworldly spoof of 1940s Horror and Film Noir, a ghost, unhappy with his crypt mate, a snoring vampire, meets the recently murdered dame of his dreams at the haunting placement service he runs.

SYNOPSIS:

In the spirit of 1940s Horror and Film Noir, Bogartesque G.G. WILLIKERS shares his crypt in a Chicago cemetery with VLAD, a down-on-his-luck vampire (think Bela Lugosi), and he’s not a happy specter because Vlad snores all day every day, and he wants Vlad gone. G.G. runs the PARANORMAL EMPLOYMENT AGENCY where his secretary, PEPPER APPARATIONOWSKI (a Black version of Lee Patrick in The Maltese Falcon), takes a call from a new client (a Mr. Canterville) who has a castle in England to haunt. When an exhausted G.G. enters, Pepper has just enough time to tell him about the exciting new prospect before luscious Femme Fatale, ALICE GHOSTLY, who has recently been murdered (“almost 10 minutes ago”), appears. She is a Veronica Lake-lookalike looking for a position in a quiet, secluded place because she is alone in the world now that her boyfriend was also shot (but survived) by his jealous wife. G.G. sends Pepper to the Midnight Market to pick up a garland of garlic to send Vlad back to Transylvania so G.G. can be alone with the alluring Alice. G.G. goes through several possible locations available for her to haunt (everything from a cathedral to a theater to a lunatic asylum), but nothing suits. But they suddenly realize that they are falling in love (at first sight) just as Pepper calls to tell him the market is all out of garlic due to Chicago’s Little Italy Fest, and to remind him to contact Mr. Canterville about the English castle. Alice is thrilled about the prospect, but only if G.G. joins her. Realizing that sharing a castle with a beautiful bundle of ectoplasm like Alice is far more appealing than a crowded crypt with a snoring vampire like Vlad, G.G. chooses the Happily Ever After Forever that Fate has given them.